Page 146

I set the phone on my knee and look toward the open door.

The hallway outside is dark. Mamá’s door is closed, although a thin line of light beneath it confirms my suspicion that she is nowhere near asleep.

My life is all around me.

The same house and the same family. The same job waiting for me tomorrow morning. Maggie, who I have plans with next week. A basket of clean laundry on the chair that has needed folding for two days. Merry’s earrings on my dresser because she took them off at the café the other day and left them on the counter.

I look at them.

I should text her about those.

I pick up my phone again.

The Third Fairy

Courage

The word sits there for a moment before the little check appears beside it.

Primavera1959

Courage to do what?

I run my thumb along the edge of my phone again.

The Third Fairy

I think that’s the part I’m still figuring out.

Primavera1959

If I may say something…

The Third Fairy

Needing my permission has historically not stopped you

Primavera1959

I was going to say something insightful

I think maybe you don’t really need courage until you know what you want.

Before that, you can just call it being careful

But once you know, you have to decide whether you’re going to do something about it and trust yourself with that decision, you know?

My eyes drift to the earrings on the dresser again.

Little gold hoops.

Those words are wrapped in certainty and enough self-deprecation that it feels familiar. It tugs at my chest, makes my heart beat a little faster.

I love her. I’m in love with her.

Primavera1959

Which is deeply unfortunate because personally I preferred not knowing things.