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Primavera1959

I think I’m choosing to stop trying so hard to make everything make sense before I let myself want it.

Something shifts inside me. Small and unmistakeable. Because this is what I wanted for her, even though I have no idea who she is.

Not the relationship or her new job or any particular outcome.

This.

The moment when she stops looking at me to tell her what comes next.

The Third Fairy

That sounds like a choice

Primavera1959

Yes

It does

I should probably leave it here. Sign off and go to sleep.

Instead, I type:

TheThirdFairy

How does it feel?

The answer comes almost immediately.

Primavera1959

Honestly?

Quiet.

I thought it would feel like finally figuring something out

But I think it’s more like deciding I don’t have to.

I’m not entirely sure when her answers started feeling like advice meant for me, too. For weeks, I have been teaching this woman how to trust herself. Somewhere along the way, she has gotten frighteningly good at teaching me back.

Primavera1959

What about you?

The Third Fairy

What about me?

Primavera1959

What are you choosing?

Just a few minutes ago, I was thinking how she wasn’t asking any questions. Yet here we are. This is what she does now. She takes the questions I give her, turns them over for a while, then hands them back when I’m least prepared to answer them.

I could remind her this is her custom spell. I could make a joke about professional boundaries, although those have become increasingly theoretical where Primavera is concerned.