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“Yeah, he blames himself for a lot of the wrongs that’s happened in his life. He blames my father and this club for others. He believes those he touches; he ends up losing, so he doesn’t allow himself to touch the lives of many. He believes love makes people vulnerable.” That explains a lot. Why he doesn’t feel that he’s worth the affections of others. “Matthew lost himself when he was injured. He blames himself for the death of his platoon. He believes he turned his back on those that needed him. But for those he saved, he’s a hero. He blames himself because he wasn’t able to save everyone when that IED went off and nearly blew him in two.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I just want you to know. I want you to be here with a clear head and not one in the clouds about a man coming in and saving you. Sin will keep you physically safe, but your heart, well that will never be safe around him.”

“Why, Cut?”

“Savannah, his heart is dead. He doesn't have it in him. So, keep your heart to yourself. It's better off that way.”

“Why allow me to stay then? Sin said you’re okay with me being here. If you’re not, Cut, just tell me. I’ll make do.”

“I’m allowing it because three of the most important people in my life, want me to. Please don’t fuck it up.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, but I may not answer.”

“Why have me stay here? Sin said he doesn’t like the idea of me sleeping on the pull out.” I rub my hands down my flat stomach. “I know that’s not the reason.”

He watches my hands as I continue the circular motions. “Because Redding is pulling out the big guns to get you and that baby back and Sin’s not willing to let that happen.”

“What can Tyson possibly do other than try to throw his money around and be a pain in the ass?”

“You’ve asked your last question, Savannah, for now, the rest is club business until I feel otherwise.”

My legs bounce with nervous energy. My eyes glued to the entryway Savannah will be coming out of.

“Dude, what’s your deal?” Hawk asks as he sits next to me on the barstool. He hands me bottled water while he chugs his beer. He smirks at me. The labret piercing in his lip matches the black of his hat that sits low on his eyes. He may ride a bike like no one’s business, but he will always be the club’s pretty boy.

“Savannah’s in there talking to Cut.”

“And?”

“I don’t know what they’re talking about. This is Cut we’re talking about. Who knows what the hell is coming out of his mouth.”

“Wow man.” He shakes his head at me.

“What?”

“You seem nervous, that’s all. I’ve never known you to be nervous; you’re acting like a chick.” He says laughing as he walks away.

It’s not about being nervous. What’s there to be nervous about? Nothing. I just know that Cut can be difficult and I know that he would rather be talking to anyone other than Savannah. I don’t want him to make her cry or make her feel that she’s not welcome. I’m already having a hard time convincing her of that and we’re friends. I’m not sure what more they have to discuss other than him being okay with her staying here instead of our mom’s house.

When he relented on having her come into the clubhouse rather than mom’s, I was so relieved. I was serious when I told him I would take Savannah and leave, find somewhere I could keep her and the baby safe. Fuck, a baby. I have to say, that shit came out of nowhere. I’m still pissed that she didn’t tell me. She had plenty of opportunities, but she didn’t confide in me. I understand why she left more so now. The baby was motivation enough for her to get out of her shitty situation, I wish she would’ve thought better of herself and left sooner though. I know she won’t be alone; she’ll have my mom, the club, the guys and me once everything settles.

One day, when she’s ready, she’ll meet someone who can take care of her and the baby. My stomach drops at the thought of her finding someone to be there for her in that capacity. She’s not been here long and I’m not ready for that to happen. She’s not ready for that to happen. She needs to concentrate on the baby and that’s it. I look around the room at my brothers. Each of them are good guys in their own right, but I wouldn't want Savannah to be with any of them. This isn’t the life that she needs, that I want for her. She can’t find her happiness on the back of a bike.

I hear a gasp and glancing over, spot Savannah standing there. Her eyes are huge and her mouth’s open. I scan the room to see what’s so alarming. It’s Friday, the typical kickoff to the weekend. The Fallen are out in full force. Tight leather pants, skintight shorts, barely there tops and tits for days. Her eyes find me, and the color is just about gone from her face. My pulse quickens in fear that she’s going to be sick again. Maybe Cut upset her. I stride over and take her hands in mine.

“Hey.” My voice is calm. I move my head trying to catch her eyes with mine while I rub my hands up and down her arms. “Are you okay? Are you going to be sick?” I cup her face in my hand. She finally looks at me.

“No.” She chokes out.

“What’s the matter?” There’s a few cat calls and hollers behind me which draws her attention.

I follow her line of sight. There’s several of The Fallen dancing together, gyrating to the music. Their hands rub down each other bodies. Twist and Poppy pull themselves together, kissing. Their tongues duel, giving a great show for the guys in attendance. They’re The Fallen twins. Though they aren’t related, their bleach blond hair and emerald eyes are almost exact. Both tall and thin with fake tits and sun kissed skin. Those two are always up for anything and tonight it looks like they’re in the mood to give us a show.

Hawk’s in the corner with Kimmy. His hands are down her shorts as she grinds on him. He watches in front of him as he bites her neck, sucking, and taking in the show on the dance floor. Bubba’s behind the bar watching the girls while Dyke, Lenny and Brass follow suit. We have a few visitors from neighboring charters stop by for the night so they’re getting in on the action The Fallen provides. A few of our friends who aren’t in the club are hanging out. Lenny’s old lady is on the floor taking part in the Twist and Poppy show. I always knew she was a little loose.