Page 9
“Hello?”
I take a shuddering breath, tears threatening to spill over as I gather the strength not to begin bawling.
“Mom?”
At the end of the day, that’s what she is to me. She’s someone who has fought for me to be able to exist, despite not knowing me for long.
“Oh my god. They told me you were dead,” she whispers.
“Almost. I’m going to the train station. I can’t stay here. I’m sorry—”
“Don’t apologize,” she says, sniffling. “This isn’t your phone. Shit. Find an Internet cafe when you get where you’re going. Fuck. You don’t have any money, baby.”
“I do. Someone gave me some,” I explain. “No strings attached. Who told you that? The thing you just said…”
I don’t want to say it with Sage trying not to listen.
“We picked up the Devils. They’re currently being interrogated.”
“By who?”
“Your grandfather and the guys. Oh, and Liliana is threatening to skin them alive,” she says, tears in her voice.
“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me. Look, I’ll find an Internet cafe or something to let you know how I am,” I explain.
“Acutally, if you’re going to a train station, Theo will find you. I’m not going to let the guys forget they almost killed you, Noor.”
“Do what you need to. They weren’t mean to me tonight, things just got really fucked up.”
“I won’t tell them you’re alive. They can live with what they believe they’ve done. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
I can’t hold back the sob anymore as it creeps out of my chest. At least it waited until after I hung up.
“I’m good now. Thanks, Sage.” I swallow back the rest of the emotions bubbling up inside of me. There’s a large amount of relief that Rachelle picked up, and not a drop of remorse that my family is taking care of the Devils.
Maybe in another life I’d trust them to be a part of this baby’s life, but they’ve done too much fucked up shit for me to be able to give them a chance.
Sage takes the phone back without looking at me, which helps me keep this all bottled up. My lips tremble as Carlos finally gets into the SUV, and I pretend it’s because I’m still cold. There’s comfort in knowing Theo can find me no matter where I go, and that Rachelle understands why I can’t stay here anymore.
I rub my stomach absently as I curl up in the backseat, watching as the dark scenery passes me by. I don’t know how pregnancy is going to continue to change my body or what struggles I’ll have, but I do know this baby is going to change my life.
I’ve barely been skating from day to day, though I thought things were getting better. Instead, the world decided to kick me in the teeth, and I nearly died. I need a fucking break, a chance to get my shit together without the Devils messing with me.
I understand not everything about tonight was their fault, but I’m having a hard time seeing their side. If they’d left me alone, so many things in my life would be different.
But I wouldn’t be pregnant.
This tiny being inside of me is completely innocent of the sins of their parents, something I am very well acquainted with. I want to be a good mom, and I know I’ll have the support to be able to do that.
Even if I’m not in the same city as them anymore.
The train station is empty as we pull in, and I hop out after thanking them for the ride. Sage turns toward me with worried eyes as she sees there’s no one here, but that’s fine with me. I plan to hop on the first train that’s available.
I hurry into the station, glad it’s not closed, and sit down to wait for the ticket office to open. I make sure to glance at the video cameras before pulling up the hood on my sweater to snuggle inside it. I am still having a difficult time warming up, and in the silence of the station, I allow myself to shed the tears I’ve been holding back.
I cry for the people I wish the Devils could be, and things they’ll miss out on because of it. When the ticket counter opens at five in the morning, I stand with dry eyes and buy a ticket to San Diego, which is the next train. I pay with the cash Sage was nice enough to give me, board an hour later, and prepare to disappear from anyone who isn’t my family.
