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No one else matters now, because my adopted family has proven the lengths they’re willing to go for their daughter.

CHAPTER

FOUR

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

NOOR

My stomach rolls in a way that reminds me I have a tiny alien inside of me and I can’t help but smile. Being alone in this apartment is so different than anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s too quiet after all the chaos of living with my family, or even the constant noise when I was in foster care.

Theo found me the way Rachelle promised, and someone was waiting at the train station for me with money, a cell phone, and a hotel reservation. They took care of everything, and I only stayed at the hotel for a couple of days.

During that time, I watched the news and heard a body was found in the water at Los Padres National Forest. My blood ran cold when they said it was me. It was the most surreal experience of my life, and I’ve had some doozies before.

According to the medical examiner, I’m dead. I can’t imagine the strings that were pulled to make that happen. I don’t know how to feel about it, but it makes me free.

I have a new name, new identification, and I’m trying to figure out what to do with it now. After how fast things happened, I’m realizing how hard my family worked to give me the normal life I swore I wanted.

There’s a level of peace I’ve never felt before, but I do find myself missing my adopted family. They’ve all come to see me separately over the past seven months without the kids, because they won’t understand. God, they probably think I’ve disappeared and broken more promises.

In a way, I did when I chose to go to the train station. I had to get the hell out of Santa Barbara after I almost died. The Devils have too much bullshit that follows them, and I was tired of being a victim to it.

However, Rachelle has been keeping me up to date with the gossip at Chesterfield Prep while I’ve been living in San Diego. Alexa got kicked out for trying to force Ciaran to kiss her. He called it assault and is pressing charges through the police department. The principal couldn’t in good faith ignore this and expelled her.

My family submitted evidence after my “body” was found that showed Alexa kidnapped me, but the police refused to do much about it. They insisted they needed more than shadowy images of her in a hoodie and her license plate. I don’t know if they expected a fluorescent sign saying “I did it!” or not, though that's how it feels. Instead, seniors began to step forward after Alexa was expelled, knowing her reign of terror was over.

Having experienced Alexa’s crazy side, I can’t really blame them. There’s currently an open court case to have her tried for my murder.

No part of me feels bad for Alexa. She’s a fucking menace. I don’t understand why the Devils went along with her shit for so long. Knowing them, it was probably so they could hold her leash. They forgot that Alexa enjoys being included and thought she could have more than they wanted to give her.

The baby kicks inside of me and I wince even as I smile.

“So excited, little man. Why are you kicking me?”

I’m having a boy. I have no idea what boys like, but I suppose I’ll figure it out.

Somehow, I’ve stepped into the Twilight Zone where my symptoms are steadily improving. My OBGYN is a really sweet woman, and she’s working with my cardiologist to treat me while I’m pregnant. I’m getting incredible care, and no one is gaslighting me.

It’s so… odd. I even have a new therapist I like that I can see in person. He’s very old school and all of his notes are taken on paper. There’s nothing anyone can hack or use as blackmail, even if I wasn’t dead as far as the world is concerned.

It’s my dream to have a few months of good health. I want to be the best mom I can be for my baby, and that means taking care of myself. I haven’t cut since I left Santa Barbara either. I know that this streak of good things won’t last forever, but even my nausea has chilled out.

“Ugh.” A tear trails down my face as I think about how lucky I am. I don’t have migraines anymore, I can clean my apartment without passing out, but I don’t have the stones to shower in hot water. There are only so many things I’ll try my luck with.

I’m also eating better now too, which is important to give my baby the nutrients he needs. My doctors are cautioning me that this streak of feeling well will probably end once I have the baby. The increase in blood volume is actually helping my symptoms.

The human body is freaking wild.

My phone buzzes next to me and I smile as I see it’s Rachelle. She’s video calling me, something we try to do as often as possible. She wants me to come home once the Devils graduate, but I’m not sure I’m ready to. There are too many bad memories, even in the few short months I was there.

“Hi!” I greet her, answering the call.

Rachelle grins back at me, and I feel a surge of homesickness. For her, rather than Santa Barbara. I fucking miss her.

“Hey, Noor. How are you feeling? What are you doing?”

I glance at the half finished painting I’ve been working on and shrug, flipping the screen to allow her to see it. Emil is pushing me to sell my art. He wants me to see the options I have in front of me.