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Nathaniel stood between the house and the pond, glancing back at me on the porch. He tilted his chin, his face aglow in the soft moonlight. I could see the heartbreak etched on his features. “Come with me,” Nathaniel said, just above a whisper.
“I can’t. I belong here with him, for as long as possible.”
Nathaniel shook his head. “I won’t come back. You won’t see me again,” he said.
I nodded and lifted a hand in farewell. Nathaniel turned and raced into the night. As I watched him go, the relief I expected to feel froze into a ball in my stomach. This wasn’t over. Nathaniel’s appearance had been a harsh wake-up call. There was so much I’d been ignoring, so much I needed to face.
I went back inside to find Julian sitting cross-legged by the fireplace, Samson lying in his lap. Julian stared down blankly at his pet, rubbing the thin fur on one of his ears between his fingers.
I approached slowly, crouched, and rested a hand on Julian’s shoulder. “Julian, I’m so sorry.”
Julian jerked away. “Get off me. Don’t touch me right now, okay, Vincent?”
“Okay, I get it,” I said, startled but understanding. I stood and stepped back. “I can help you with Samson.”
“I’ll bury my own cat,” Julian said. His voice was flat. He stood with the body cradled in his arms and walked toward the door.
“Let me help you. The ground is frozen.”
“No. I’ll do it myself.”
Without another word, he walked out without a coat into the freezing night air. I followed him onto the porch and watched him go get a shovel. I didn’t want to seem overprotective, but I couldn’t let my mate walk into the woods alone until I knew for certain the danger had passed—that Nathaniel was gone. Before Julian came back around the house, I took off to make sure everything was safe.
On my way back to the house, I spotted Julian in the distance. He was chipping away at the frozen soil, his arms and back straining from the effort. I could see the moonlight reflecting off the tears on my mate’s face, and pain stabbed through my chest. I longed to go to him, to wrap my arms around him, but I knew it was something Julian needed to do alone. So I returned home by myself.
Julian came back over an hour later, wet, cold, exhausted, and covered in mud.
“I prepared a warm bath for you,” I said. It was the least I could do, but it made me feel better to do something while Julian was gone.
“Thanks,” Julian said, then headed for our room without looking at me.
I followed and watched Julian strip off his dirty clothes and climb into the water. I sat on the floor next to the tub, knees drawn up to my chest. When Julian didn’t object, I tried to talk to him again. As painful as the discussion would be, we could no longer postpone it. Nathaniel had made sure of that.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Did he hurt you?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Julian moved his neck experimentally, and I noticed a bruise forming just beneath his ear where Nathaniel had gripped him.
My breathing quickened, and my heart rate picked up again. I swallowed hard, fighting the instinctive response. Anger wouldn’t help. I took a deep breath and worked to steady my heart.
“Nathaniel’s gone now and won’t be back,” I said once I could trust my voice to stay calm.
“Is it true what he said about older vampires? Are you going mad?” Julian asked.
I nodded. “It’s possible. It happens sometimes. As we age, we become more susceptible.” What I didn’t say was that few vampires lived that long. Most removed themselves from the game long before then.
“Will you go with him?” Julian asked.
I blinked, caught off guard. I’d never thought about going with Nathaniel. “No,” I said. “I won’t. However, he did make a valid point.”
Julian looked up, his eyebrows raised. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or worried, maybe both.
“The future he spoke of could happen,” I said. “I care for you deeply, and I don’t want to hurt you.” I inhaled the warm scent of the bath, mingled with the fragrance of Julian’s skin, and tried to summon the courage to say what needed to be said. “I should go. When the snow clears, we should both leave this place. We’ll find a safe place for you among other people, and I’ll leave.”
“Will you go to him?”
“No. I don’t know where I’ll go. But you’ll be safe, and that’s what really matters.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Julian asked, unshed tears filling his eyes.