Page 26
“I’ll sell tickets the next time.”
Tegor ran a hand through his hair, the smile leaving his face. “Sorry. I know this is a big deal. You took a risk rejecting her sharp-toothed advances. Didn’t she hunt you down?”
“She tried. I left my job and my home, but it wasn’t enough. Before I knew it, my assets were frozen. She wanted me dead. If her guard had caught me, they’d have dragged me to her palace, and she’d have finished what she started.”
“This princess sounds like a psycho,” Tegor said. “That’s another tick in the box for Hayley. You have checked she’s not a crazy lady?”
Elias scowled at him. “She’s not crazy.”
“No offense to your traditions, but I’ve never agreed with the whole sex and then eating crap. Go to the food replicator and order a three-course feast; don’t chow down on your lover’s genitals.”
Elias’s laugh sounded hollow. “My thoughts exactly. Still, the princess had a taste and wanted more.”
“You make yourself sound irresistible.”
“Of my arm! She wanted more of my flesh in her mouth. She didn’t care about the sex.”
“Oh, right, of course. It makes total sense she wanted to eat the rest of you once she’d sampled the literal delights of your flesh.” Tegor made a gagging sound.
“Anyway, after the heat died down, I had to get off my home planet. I left behind everything I had and started again. It was the only way to survive.”
“So, you tipped up on Prodigy, met me, and have a perfect life?”
Elias snorted. “I got lucky. I turned up and heard they were hiring a new engineer.”
“You are one lucky son of a gun. Me as a best friend and a great job dealing with ass wipes who paint their ship gold.”
“Not really.” Elias stared at the floor. “Not when you consider what I gave up.”
Tegor grabbed his shoulder. “That was a dumb thing to say. You barely escaped with your dick still attached all because some prissy princess wanted a taste of your sweet flesh.” He laughed. “Sorry, it’s not funny, but it sort of is.”
Elias scowled at him. “Her teeth frickin hurt.”
“Sorry, buddy. You’re right. No one likes a biter. But times are changing. It’s fine if you don’t want to be an entrée to your girlfriend’s post-sex feast.”
“Try telling the princess that,” Elias said. “Try telling Hayley that. She was not impressed when I told her what I’d done.”
“She wanted you to fuck the princess and get eaten afterward? Are you sure Hayley’s not a little crazy?”
“No, it’s not that. Hayley thinks I abandoned the princess. I’d committed to something and did not see it through. It made me look like a lying jerk.”
“You surprised her; that’s all. It’s not like she’d want you to lie back and think of Venus as this snap happy princess ate your insides. It’s a shock. She’ll come around.”
Elias shook his head. He couldn’t get that horrified, disgusted look on Hayley’s face out of his head. “Maybe she’s right. I agreed to something and then changed my mind. That’s not exactly hero behavior.”
“You know what happens to heroes?”
“They get laid every night?”
Tegor laughed. “Most likely twice a night. Heroes get killed. Those guys who race into the fight or the burning building without thinking about their own safety? Dead. They might get a posthumous medal and a nice plaque on a wall, but they don’t get great tasting whiskey, or hot sex, or the chance to catch any more sexually transmitted infections. You don’t want to be a hero.”
“I also don’t want to be seen as a coward or a jerk.”
“You aren’t. You’re like the rest of us. You want a life. You want to enjoy yourself and not have the weight of this screwed-up star system on your shoulders. That’s what I strive for every day, a slightly higher than average mediocrity.”
“You like that?”
“I fucking love it.” Tegor grinned. “So should you. So should Hayley.”
