Page 61

“With your mouth?”

I shoved him backwards. Not into the lake this time. I still had enough sense left to stop myself, apparently. He landed on his elbows, laughing under his breath while I stood over him, soaked and shaking and pissed off enough to break something.

Preferably his nose. Possibly my own.

“You’re not funny,” I told him.

“I’m hilarious.”

“You’re sick.”

“Maybe. But you knew that before you went diving in after me.”

“I went in after you because I thought you were drowning.”

His expression shifted. Only slightly. The smile remained, but there was something else behind it now. “Yeah,” he said. “You always were good at saving me, weren’t you.”

I was the first to look away. Alvin sat up and pulled his knees towards his chest, his clothes dripping steadily onto the wood.

“DeeDee,” he said.

I closed my eyes. Nobody else called me that. Well, almost nobody. My ma still did when she was angry. Alvin had started when we were twelve, because apparently Darius was too many syllables for his lazy ass.

DeeDee. Double Dees when he wanted something. It had once been the safest sound in the world. Now it felt like a hand around my throat.

“What?” I grunted.

He looked at me. The mask lay between us, its blank face turned towards the sky.

“You’re bleeding.”

I glanced down. A thin line of blood ran from my palm where one of the dock boards had split my skin open. “It’s nothing.”

His gaze dropped to my hand. “Let me see.”

“I’m fine.”

“Darius.” There it was. My full name. The one he used when he was serious. Which was rare. I held out my hand before I could stop myself.

He took it carefully. His fingers wrapped around my wrist, warm despite the cold water soaking through both of us. He examined the cut with a frown, then wiped the blood away with the hem of his hoodie. The gesture was familiar.

We had done this before. He got hurt, I fixed it. I got angry, he waited me out. We fought, laughed, shared food, shared secrets.

Then there was that kiss. Then I left. I’d told myself ending our friendship was the only way to stop being someone I hated.

It hadn’t worked. I had hated myself every day since.

“You should have let me drown,” Alvin whispered.

I looked at him. He was still staring at my hand. “Don’t say that.”

“Why? You’ve thought about it before. Imagined it I’m sure. Drowning me in the same lake where⁠—”

My jaw tightened. “I said stop.”

“See? This is why I like you grumpy and wet. It’s all…” He waved a hand in the air before deciding on his choice of words. “…very authoritative.”

For some reason, I didn’t think that was what he was going to say. And that was rare too, because Alvin always said what he was going to say. He didn’t hold back like I did.