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Stayed there. I stared down at him. Disbelief at his submission. For once in my miserable, obnoxiously talkative life, I had absolutely nothing to say.

His hands rested against his thighs. His breathing was uneven; though he was doing a much better job pretending otherwise than I was.

“DeeDee…”

His eyes lifted to mine.

Fuck. That nearly took me out by itself. I was so unsure of life right now and incredibly disoriented, and my dick kept getting hard and soft like an inflatable balloon unable to fucking work right.

“You’re serious?” I asked him.

“I’ll… try, Alvy. For you.”

“Try? For me? That’s just silly, ya goose.”

A crease appeared between his brows, and I knew I was rambling. “Do you want me to get up?” he stuttered out.

“No!” The answer came so quickly his mouth twitched. “Shut up,” I grunted.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Your face did.”

“My face is down here, minding its own business, Alvy.”

“Your face is about to be extremely involved in my business,” I corrected, and Darius actually giggled. Quiet and nervous, but still a giggle. It helped to know he was nervous too. Not just me and my confused non-performing penis.

I had spent so much time imagining Dee as this impossible thing, somebody who always knew exactly how much power he had over me. But he didn’t. Not now at least. He was kneeling on dirty tile with pink creeping up his neck, staring at me like he was trying to figure out what the hell we’d just agreed to.

I reached for the string of my shorts, and my fingers shook like the damn virgin I was.

Darius noticed. “Alvy…”

“I swear to God, if you point out that I’m shaking, I’ll kill you. Cram this flaccid monster down your gullet and TKO.”

“You’d miss me.”

“I’m standing directly in front of you, threatening to murder you with my very-confused dick, and you’re stuck on my future woes of maybe missing your annoying-ass antics?”

His smirk widened. “See? You miss me already.”

I glared at him. Then my fingers stopped. The humor drained away.

Darius noticed that too. His hand came up and covered mine. “Hey.”

I looked down.

“You don’t have to prove anything, Alvy. I’m here.”

“I’m not.”

“Then slow down.”

I swallowed. He waited while I closed my eyes and tried to breathe right again. Without a single jab about all the shit I’d talked compared to how scared I suddenly was.

His thumb moved once over the back of my hand. “You still want this… from me?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes, because apparently humiliation hadn’t killed me yet. But I could also see how serious he was. His hands were shaking too.