Page 109 of Put a Rink on It

Juliet bobs her head. “For sure.”

I don’t give the trickle of hope forming any life. If he’s not committed to being on the same page and truly against having a family, at least I’ll know. It will suck for a while, but I’ll get over it. I’ll move on.

We’ll go back to being friends because the possibility of him not in my life would devastate me for sure.

CHAPTER 34

nero

The second my stick hits the skate, I resign to where I’m going.

With a tripping penalty called, I can’t escape a trip to the sin bin.

I storm off, the door open, and plop down onto the bench, wanting to remove my helmet but keeping it in place, so when the timer runs out, I’m able to jump back onto the ice.

If only to skate to the bench, where I’ll be spending an extended amount of time, no doubt.

My head’s not in the game. My heart’s not either.

I’m messed up over things with Marina. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt so fucked over a woman and am letting it get to me on the ice. I’m surprised it’s only been two penalties, honestly. Probably because Coach can see I’m off, and I haven’t played on my regular line. It should have been my first clue to shut off my brain, but my brain went offline and isn’t listening.

“Champion.”

I peer to my side at Coach Kingston.

“I know,” I bite out, my jaw clenched.

“It doesn’t appear you do. Are you looking for a fight? Or to be tossed out of the game? Is that your goal?”

“No.”

He narrows his eyes. “You sure about that?”

“Yes.”

I’m not looking to get booted from the game, but using my aggression in a fight, a totally valid way to let it out in hockey? That doesn’t sound half bad.

Except it’s not my MO. Yes, fights are part of the game, but I don’t initiate them. I’m not Kaplan or Gavrielidis. If an opponent warrants it, fine, but Nero Champion doesn’t start them. However, that philosophy might be out the window tonight. Maybe a fight is exactly what I need.

I contemplate the notion, my eyes scanning the Seattle team for a worthy opponent. I lock eyes with one of their wingers, a nasty guy who definitely stirs up trouble. His mouth hasn’t been running too much tonight, but that doesn’t mean he’s not worth it. Especially since he’s goading his previous teammate Finch, though our goalie isn’t letting it show on his focused exterior.

“Make sure whatever you’re thinking won’t land you back in the box for too long or get you kicked out. And whatever else is going on in your head, do your best to get it out of there.”

“Yes, sir.”

Though I’m not sure how to get what’s going on with Marina out of my head, nor is now the time to get into it.

The end of the friendship.

The fake engagement and wedding.

The whole pregnancy scare.

I’ve had nearly twenty-four hours to process it, but all I’ve done is elicit more worries, more worst-case scenarios, more what the hell am I going to do when I lose her.

I’ve convinced myself it’s “when” not “if” at this point.

And I only have myself to blame.