Page 108 of Put a Rink on It

“Guess that means I should get ready,” Dad says. On his way out of the kitchen, he kisses Ma’s cheek, their love so strong after thirty-plus years.

I’ll find that, right?

“Wait. You’re telling me none of it’s real? Not the dating, not the engagement, not the wedding?” Juliet squeals. “Marina Alyse Keeley, how did you miss all the memos about not lying?”

“The only thing real between Nero and me is our friendship.” It’s cathartic to get it off my chest, yet it burns at the same time to come clean and admit to myself we’re only friends.

Somewhere along the way of being with Nero, acting like we’re more than friends, hell, living it, I fell for him. I’m certain he can’t be the guy I want for my life, a fact I’ll eventually grieve and come to terms with, but it doesn’t make it hurt less.

“What about the sex?” Tate wonders.

“The realest I’ve ever had, but it’s more like friends with benefits. Kinda what we did in college.” I shrug, glancing at my mom. I’ve long given up being ashamed about things I did in my past, appropriate or not.

“I’m so lost about a lot of things.” Juliet throws herself into Dad’s recliner. “Why bother going through with the wedding if you’re gonna break up? Why the real ring? The dress? All of it. So much extravagance for something fake.”

I cringe at her statements. She’s not wrong, and I understand why she’s confused. Saying and hearing it aloud, it makes zero sense, except to protect Nero’s reputation.

“It’s not fake.” I train my eyes on Ma, Juliet, and Tate doing the same. “You might think it’s fake, but Nero loves you, Marina. I’d bet you love him, too, if you’re willing to confront your feelings.”

“As much as I want you to be right, you’re wrong, Ma. Nero doesn’t love me. It’s all for show.”

“Millie’s right,” Tate states, earning my stare. “Maybe he doesn’t know it, but Nero loves you. And let’s be honest—he’s a guy. And if he realizes it, he won’t admit it, especially under the current circumstances. The way he looks at you and treats you like a queen? No guys I know treat their ‘friends’ like that.”

“He’s always kinda treated me that way.”

She shrugs. “Maybe he’s always been in love with you.”

“What? No.” I laugh that away until a little voice inside nudges something Kaitlyn said. How you went from loving her from afar to fucking engaged? Has she been right all this time? And if she’s right, does he know it? He never denied her comment that night, but we also never circled back to it. Has he been in love with me this whole time? The idea brings mixed feelings, none of which I can deal with in my current emotional state.

“Tate, when did you get so wise? You’ve been with two guys, one of who is Walsh.”

“Say what you want about your brother, but the man brings the swoon. He almost can’t help himself. Nero’s the same way. I saw it at the fundraiser, and it’s only grown since then.”

“The Hamilton fundraiser? Last August?” I ask in disbelief.

Tate nods. “Yep. It was so obvious.”

“But we weren’t together then. Not even fake together.”

Tate crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m telling it like I see it. I may be younger and not have a lot of experience, but I’m not completely naive. Anyone with eyes can see his love for you if they’re paying attention.”

“I have eyes, and I don’t see it.”

“You’re too close to the situation,” Ma imparts her wisdom. “But what’s this about him not wanting kids?”

“That’s what he said a few times. And last night, when I told him I could be pregnant, he was so unfazed. Like no reaction. And when it was negative, he was relieved. Even if I do love him, which I’m not saying I do⁠—”

“‘Cause that’s what you do—only admit things when you’re ready to deal with them,” Juliet sasses.

I glare at her but continue. “I want a family, a loving husband who wants kids. If that’s not Nero, I can’t be with him forever.” The statement hurts to admit.

It doesn’t matter how much I want him to be that guy, if it’s not something he wants, I have to end this now. Why should we continue the charade for longer if there’s no future for us?

“I should tell him how I feel, right? That I supposedly love him and want more than this fake relationship? I owe it to him, right? Lay all my cards on the table so he knows where I’m coming from. I can’t just quit. He’s too important to me.”

“You have to tell him,” Ma says.

“Yes,” Tate agrees.