Page 39 of With You

Chapter 16

Amelie

I tear through all the clothes in my wardrobe, leaving my room looking like a cloud of pink has exploded. I love dressing up, I’ve never had issues with finding an outfit for any occasion. But nothing feels right for this date.

I don’t know what came over me when I suggested we go out together. As much as I want us to focus on the performance, I also want to explore whatever this is. I’ve never felt like this before, this rush of excitement and giddiness at just being around someone. It’s a confusing, overwhelming feeling, made even worse by the fact that it’s because of River.

But, deep down, I think if it was ever going to be anyone, it was going to be him. He’s the only person who properly understands the dedication needed for ballet, who can empathise and experience all of it with me. And as much as I hate to admit it, he knows more about me than I could ever have guessed. All the things he said about me haven’t just come from a couple of passing moments in classes. It’s come from late hours in dance studios, waiting backstage at performances, sitting in a crowd of hundreds to watch a single dancer on the stage. It’s come from River paying far more attention to me than I’ve ever realised.

I wish I could call Evie and Zena to my room and ask for their help, but whatever River and I are doing has to be a secret from everyone. It’s still way too early, and maybe we’re just caught up in practicing together and it’ll all fade away once the performance ends. I’m not naive enough to believe that whatever this fleeting happiness is will last forever, but I want to let myself enjoy it for now at least.

I’ve never thought of myself as someone who wanted to be in a relationship, but seeing the way Evie and Zena are with their boys, I can’t deny I sometimes feel a pang of envy. Even if their situations are far more complicated than mine, fake relationships and denied feelings, they still have each other. I want to be cared for in the same way they are, have someone to share a suite at a nice hotel with, to call up at any time of the day, to sit with and enjoy the silence. I want to be wanted, just for me, not for what I show on a stage.

Maybe this will end disastrously, and maybe I’ll hate River more than I ever have before if this performance goes wrong, but for now, I just want to pretend I’m a normal teenage girl, going on a date with a normal teenage guy. I don’t want to think about the showcase, or about dancing, or the future, or anything that isn’t simply how I feel when I’m with River now.

Looking through all of my clothes again, I settle on a pink corset midi dress that feels a good mix of casual and elegant. Although I told River I had plans to go into Paris, it was a lie, and he knew it. Judging by his text earlier telling me to be ready by eight so we could head in together, I’m sure he’s managed to arrange something, even on short notice. I don’t want to appear too eager, either with my clothing choices or by meeting him exactly at eight, so I take my time getting ready.

Once I’m reasonably late, but not enough for it to be considered too rude, I get a single question mark in a text from River, which I take as my sign to finally go and meet him. It’s easy to slip away from my friends, Evie and Zena think we’re practicing, just like we have for the whole week, so there’s no excuses needed to explain my absence from them. I’m sure River’s friends expect the same from him, too.

When I reach the iron gates that close off the university from the rest of the world, I spot River leaning against a black car, the same one that brought us back the night we left the club together. He’s dressed in a dark grey suit, perfectly tailored, the fabric clinging to his muscles in all the right places. As always, the top button of his white shirt is undone, leaving a V shape that I want to trace my nails across. And he’s wearing his glasses.

He’s staring down at the ground but when he finally looks up at me, he does a double take, his mouth dropping open slightly. River approaches me, walking slowly as he stretches his hand out toward me.

“You look beautiful,” he says as I place my hand in his and let him lead me to the car.

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere,” I tell him, hoping he can’t feel my pulse racing.

“Can’t a guy give a beautiful girl a compliment?” River asks as he opens the door for me.

I get in, and he doesn’t close the door, hovering over me as he waits for my response.

“A guy certainly can, but that’s not what I see in front of me,” I trail my fingers across the base of his neck, moving them around to his nape as he dips his face closer to mine.

“What do you see then?” he says, voice low. “Let me guess. A handsome, talented, amazing dance partner?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a performing monkey, but well done for trying.”

He presses a quick kiss to the inside of my wrist before he slips out of my grasp, laughing as he closes my door and gets in the other side of the car. It’s so fun to play with him, even more fun when he gives it right back. He leans over me to grab my seatbelt, fastening it before he does his own, and then the driver begins our journey.

“So, where are we going?” I ask, turning in my seat to face him, curiosity winning over me.

“There’s a great restaurant I’ve been wanting to go to.” He angles his body toward me, his knee grazing mine. “I came across it a week ago, but haven’t had the chance to go back yet.”

“Which arrondissement is it in?” I ask, glancing out of the window behind him as I wait for us to get closer to the centre of Paris. But then I notice we’re not heading in that direction at all. Instead, we’re going toward the airfield we flew out of last weekend when we went to Milan.

“More of a zone than an arrondissement,” he says, looking over at me with a glint in his eye.

“River, we can’t go to Milan for dinner.”

“Why not?” He shrugs. “The food looked great.”

I can barely hold back my smile as River takes my hand and brings it to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Our hands stay joined together on the seat between us as the drive continues.

When we reach the airfield, the plane is ready. It’s a short journey, only around an hour and a half, but we treat ourselves to a few snacks and drinks on the flight. River sits opposite me, watching me intently until I tell him to look away. It’s strange having his eyes on me, feeling the weight of his stare as if he’s physically pressing against me like when we dance.

It’s still unbelievable that we’re even here. If I went back just a few weeks ago and told myself I’d be on a plane to Milan for a date with River, I think I would have laughed loud enough to lose my voice.

I’m still not sure what I want from this, from getting closer to River. I’m sure it will help our performance, and that we’ll dance better if we’re more familiar with each other. But I’m worried getting too close to him will make me lose focus. I already made us skip practice today just for one night of fun. There’s still plenty of time before the showcase, but that doesn’t mean every second isn’t vital.