Page 82 of My Undead Love Life

Mad looked at Spencer like she was his only flare in the dark, as cheesy as that shit sounded. But Mad was a man made of plans and guilt. He had spent two months telling himself she needed time. Telling us nobody should move until she was ready. Telling himself wanting her was selfish.

Then, he woke up to her kissing me. To the proof that she wanted us.

“He’ll come around,” I promised her, pulling her close and tucking her into the covers again. “Just sleep. We’ll wait up for him.”

“Okay,” she whispered, but she didn’t sound convinced.

She snuggled closer to me, and I wrapped an arm around her, holding her against my chest. Luck stayed sitting for a while, staring toward the entrance like he was trying to decide whether following Mad would be a good idea.

“Give him a minute,” I said.

Luck nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

Spencer’s breathing eventually evened out, though her fingers stayed curled in the blanket near my stomach. I didn’t think she fully fell asleep. Her body was too tense. Every few minutes, her breath hitched like she was listening for footsteps.

I listened, too.

The gate rattled softly a few minutes later. Mad stepped back into the store, locking the gate shut behind him. He had his axe in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. I doubted he’d gone out only to piss. His hair was damp near his temples like he’d splashed water on his face. His mouth was set in a hard line, but his eyes went straight to Spencer.

She sat up immediately. “Mad⁠—”

“I’m not mad at you,” he said. The words came fast, rough, like he’d been repeating them in his head the whole walk back and needed them out before she could think otherwise.

Spencer froze. “You’re not?”

Mad swallowed and stepped closer, but not too close. “I’m not mad at you,” he repeated, quieter this time. “I need you to know that first.”

Her eyes shimmered in the dim light. “You left.”

“I know.” His jaw tightened. “That was shitty.”

Luck shifted beside us, but stayed quiet.

Mad’s gaze flicked to me briefly, then back to her. “I woke up and saw you kissing Oxi, and to be honest, I was a jealous idiot.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Then, I realized the jealousy wasn’t even the real problem.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I panicked.”

“Why?” Spencer asked softly.

“Because I want you.” His voice dropped. “I want you so much that it scares the hell out of me.”

Her breath caught.

Mad looked away and took a deep breath. “And I’ve been telling myself for weeks that wanting you is wrong. That you’re grieving. That Keith just passed. That we only feel this way because we’ve been trapped together, because trauma makes people cling, because the world is ending and everything is heightened.” He shook his head. “I had a whole list.”

“That sounds like you,” Luck murmured.

Mad shot him a look.

Luck lifted both hands. “Not the time. Sorry.”

Spencer’s mouth trembled faintly. “Do you still think it’s wrong?”

Mad’s expression softened. “I think that I don’t get to decide what you’re ready for. I think I was trying so hard not to take advantage of your grief that I forgot you still have agency inside it.”

Spencer went still.