Page 50 of Queens Will Play

And what about the crown?

Now, that I was facing this new reality, my decision to bluff my way through until I could change the system seemed like it had been a pipe dream. Change took time, even though I didn’t want to accept it. Even trying to change the legal system that wasted my time, to implement justices to handle simple cases, seemed doomed to fail.

“Camille’s folly,” I said.

“What? Are you okay?” Trillian asked, yawning.

I shook my head. “Nothing.” And I closed my eyes, awake but silent, thinking until long in the night as my husbands fell into slumber.

Next morning, I bathed and dressed, and even Cadence didn’t try to talk to me. I gave her one long look, and she nodded, simply helping me get ready in silence.

As I headed to the breakfast table, I steeled myself for what was to come. The healers would perform a more in-depth exam, of course, and based on that, my future would change.

Smoky, Morio, and Trillian were waiting for me, and they seemed to sense my need for quietude. We ate, and I thought over the night’s introspection. After a few minutes, I cleared my throat and asked Cadence and the guards to step out. When the four of us were alone, I took a deep breath.

“I thought long and hard last night,” I said. “If it turns out that I have to relinquish the crown, I’ll do so without protest. I never intended to have children, and if they can’t envision a queen who chooses an heir by another means, that’s their problem. I still have the grove—the Moon Mother isn’t about to abandon me. She knows everything about me. But since we haven’t done much work on the land, I want to find a piece of land we can live on, as well, if we have to leave here. We’ll build a community for the knights…for us.”

“This discussion could be premature,” Smoky said.

“Yes, it could be. Maybe by some miracle they were wrong. But even then, I still don’t want to have a child. I don’t want to be an incubator. I was willing to adopt, but they would never accept that solution.” I stabbed another waffle and covered it with syrup. “I won’t turn my back on the Fae Courts, but I’m not going to beg them to let me stay.”

“You know we’re with you,” Trillian said. “Children or no children…crown or no crown, you’re our queen, and we will always be with you.”

“I know,” I said. “And I’ll never take you—any of you—for granted.”

After breakfast, we headed for the main healer’s office. Both Amrey and Merik were there, along with Lealara, the head healer. She looked somber as I entered the office.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said, walking over to the table. As I hopped up on it, Lealara approached with a bow.

“Your Majesty, I’m not sure what to say⁠—”

“Say nothing. Simply begin the exam,” I said. “I want no platitudes, apologies, or sympathy. All I want is the truth.”

She brought out a machine that made an odd noise, but I could feel the magic coming off of it. The techno-mages must have had a hand in creating it. “Lie down, please, arms at your side.”

I did as she asked. My husbands were waiting in the outer room. Cadence was there, standing watch. Lealara held out another instrument, handheld that looked a lot like a phone.

“All right, you aren’t using any glamour or magic to cloak your true self,” she said.

Insulted, I sputtered. “Of course not⁠—”

“We have to check,” she said. “I’m sorry, but I have to be able to answer these questions if the results come back as we expect they will.”

Closing my eyes, I waited. It was no use arguing. I’d have to go through with this the way they said I had to. Lealara ran the scanner over my body. Then she performed an uncomfortable gynecological exam. After that, she stood back and motioned for me to sit up.

“You can dress now, Your Majesty.”

I couldn’t read her expression. “What are your findings?”

“I’d like to call your advisors in—” she started to say, but I’d had enough.

“Listen,” I said, poking her in the chest. I didn’t give a fuck about her feelings at this point. “You tell me now, damn it. I’m still your queen and I command you to give me your findings. After that, you can tell the advisors anything you like. But I get to process this first. If there’s anything to process.”

“As you wish,” she said, backing up, her eyes wide. “I’m sorry to have angered you, Your Majesty.” She sighed and handed me the results from the scanner. They were printing out on her computer. “Amrey and Merik were correct. I’m afraid that you are sterile. In fact, the damage is so bad, I second their opinion that you have a hysterectomy as soon as possible. As the years go on, the scar tissue in your uterus and your stomach will cause issues.”

And there it was.

“So…no chance of ever having children?” I asked.