Page 45 of Yearning Difficulties

‘Is it too heavy for you?’ I teased as he placed it at my feet.

He puffed out a disbelieving breath. ‘No. I could carry both of you, if I wanted.’

I smirked. ‘Yeah, right.’

Something dangerous flashed across his face and before I could order him to stop, he’d bent down to throw me over his left shoulder. I heard myself shriek in a loud burst of euphoria. A part of me couldn’t believe the sound had come out of my body. This very body that had been so closed off and distant over the past couple of years.

‘Put me down!’ I said, albeit half-heartedly. I didn’t really want him to.

He ignored my command, scooping up our large pumpkin with his other arm.

‘Great auction, everyone,’ he said cheerfully, while I wheezed with laughter. ‘Got everything I wanted!’

‘Date isn’t over, Red.’

Killian said the words bluntly as he finally set me and our pumpkin down. We were at the front of my house and he had to steady me as I stood on my own feet once more.

‘Really?’ I said. ‘Can you wait for the blood to empty out of my head and flow back into the rest of my body?’

‘No, I can’t risk you coming to your senses.’

He took my wrist and started walking us both towards the lake.

‘What about our colossal tangerine child?’ I asked.

‘He needs to learn to survive on his own.’

We made our way down towards the water and only once we’d neared the beach, and left the town behind, did I notice it. A small circle of warm lanterns surrounding a picnic blanket and basket. A few groups of teenagers were speckled all up and down the beach, but the romantic little dining spot was being guarded by Chris, Anderson and Cherry. They waved when they saw us and I let out a small gasp of surprise.

‘Wait,’ I said gently. ‘That’s for us?’

Killian kicked a small pebble on the beach. ‘Well . . . yeah.’

‘You did this for me?’

‘Well, I don’t want either you or the people we’re trying to fool to think that I’m a complete cynic.’

I was suddenly struck by an arrow of painful self-awareness. It lodged itself between my ribs, making it hard to take a full breath. A comical and embarrassing fact:

My pretend-boyfriend had done more for me than any real one ever had.

Killian’s smug smile faded as he noticed my expression. ‘Zella?’

I couldn’t look at him so I stared over at all of the other people on the beach. I could see Claire Monk with her older brother and his girlfriend. She was looking over at Killian and me with a strange sort of wistfulness. Ashley Reynolds, Cherry’s stepsister, was glaring at us like we were trespassers. But almost everyone else just watched with curiosity.

It was a perfect scene. A perfect date.

But it wasn’t real.

‘There’s one rule for tonight’s date,’ Killian told me, steering us down the beach to the blanket. His friends had all dispersed, leaving us alone.

‘And what’s that?’

‘You’re not allowed to mention that this is all a ruse.’

I made a face. ‘No one can hear me.’

He grew serious and held my eyes. ‘I can hear you.’