Page 24 of Yearning Difficulties

He left the arcade before his twin could thump him again. Cherry followed, blowing a loud and obvious kiss to me as she left.

‘Sorry about Cherry,’ Killian told me softly.

I glanced at him. ‘Why? She’s great.’

‘Nervous for your first joust?’ Anderson interjected, steering the subject to tonight’s opening tournament.

‘Seeing as I’m scripted to lose every time, I feel pretty indifferent,’ Killian said, grinning.

‘So, how long do you two plan to draw out this little dating charade?’

Killian started fiddling with one of the arcade’s paper napkins. ‘Until Zella gets what she wants.’

‘Okay,’ Anderson said. ‘And what about Dave Valvert? You’re not worried about him getting a tad bitter over this new development?’

‘We’re not together any more,’ I said casually. ‘Broke up before summer break.’

‘Pissing him off is an added bonus,’ Killian said.

‘Glad you feel that way,’ Anderson replied. ‘Because he just walked in.’

Killian turned his whole body to look. I braced myself and did the same.

Sure enough, Dave was sauntering into the arcade with Priya, Sterling and Logan Minola. The latter looked as broody as ever, seemingly bored by the rest of his group. But when his eyes landed on Killian and me, a touch of surprise entered his gaze. He murmured something to Dave, whose head snapped over to where we were sitting.

‘Oh shit,’ I said under my breath.

Dave’s nostrils flared and he stormed over to our table. His friends went to find a booth for themselves, though Logan Minola kept one eye on us.

‘Shit, shit,’ I muttered. ‘Dave’s not mature enough for this.’

‘That’s okay, Red,’ Killian said. ‘Neither am I.’

‘Zella!’

I winced as my ex-boyfriend honed in on me. I found myself recalling our last civil conversation, just before the summer. Dave had been completely blindsided by me breaking up with him. He’d demanded to know my reasons but when I’d told him I didn’t enjoy his sometimes cruel sense of humour, he’d doubled down. I’d pointed out that he regularly made fun of me, but his derision towards Max had been the final straw.

As I’d left, he’d said something about it being only fair for him to officially move on first.

Judging by the look on his face, he was clearly remembering that conversation too.

‘Hey, Dave,’ I said, trying to sound unconcerned. I wasn’t doing anything wrong after all. Dave had happily moved on, so there was no reason for me to feel guilty. ‘What’s up?’

‘Um, not sure,’ snapped Dave, towering over me. ‘Since when do you come to this arcade?’

I used to come here with Max. Long before him. Long before any of them. Max loved air hockey. Hera, the owner, had a soft spot for both of us and had let us play air hockey for free.

This is Max’s place, not yours, Dave.

But I didn’t say it aloud. I hated when Dave would raise his voice. As someone with an aversion to loud noises, I always felt myself shutting down when people couldn’t control their volume. Whether it was a teacher telling me I was stupid when I apparently didn’t show enough emotion for their liking, or an ex-boyfriend who felt his control slipping away.

The world had told me to be quiet. So I was. I slipped away when people started to yell, demanding that I perform my emotions in a way that pleased them.

The more I felt something, the less I would show it.

‘I can go anywhere I want, Dave,’ I said calmly. ‘This is my town, too.’

He instinctively reached for my forearm. He’d never been more physical with me than that, but it was a move I’d seen many times before. He would often grab my arm or my hand when he wanted me to give him my full attention.