Page 5 of Zodiac Beasts

Chapter 3

My hand was shaking as I attempted to write an equation across the whiteboard for Friday morning’s Physics 101. The class was dead silent behind me when I grabbed the eraser to fix a botched ‘4,’ and I told myself it was because they were copying the lesson, and not because they were all confused and unnerved by their professor’s slipping decorum.

Lila’s presence was overwhelming the room, and I had to focus every ounce of my will power in order to latch onto someone—anyone else’s emotional state, so I could mimic their functional mind instead of my completely shattered one. I latched onto a young man in the far corner of the room, whose mental signature was so intensely bored, that it nearly had me questioning whether anyone had ever cared about the conservation of energy at all.

But as much as I wanted to mimic someone more enthusiastic, every time I released my hold on his lazy aura, I started getting anxious pings from Lila, and my entire arm started trembling again. Though to her credit, even in her clear stress, she was still impressively focused on the lesson, and my brain worked better for solving equations while linked with her feelings than it did with Brian in the corner.

With my continued unease, it was a wonder that I made it through the entire hour without emptying the contents of my stomach into my waste bin in front of everyone. It was even more of an accomplishment to keep it together as class let out, and my favorite little catastrophe remained at her desk.

Now there was no one else whose mind I could feed on. It was just me, her, and the monster hiding under the desk.

“I have another class in about half an hour. We can talk later.” I said through the foggy soup of my mind, now that I’d lost my only external sources of sanity. Not wanting to feed on her tumultuous emotions, I was going to be trapped in my own for this confrontation. I hadn’t had enough time to process everything myself, and though I should be the mature adult in this situation, the night of the Aries had rattled me to my very foundation, and I’d never felt so lost and betrayed by my own beast.

The day I’d taken her virginity was a series of mistakes.

The day I’d taken her with my brother—that I’d fought over her with my brother—was completely on me, and I wasn’t prepared to face that truth.

But like so many moments since I’d met Lila Denton, she wasn’t going to give me much choice. She appeared so passive and shy and introverted, but her spirit latched on, endured, and never let go with all the bite of a hyena shifter with a grudge.

When she didn’t say anything in response to my dismissal, I stopped erasing the whiteboard and turned to face her. She was still sitting there. Her eyes were on her interlaced hands that rested on her desk so neatly, and her expression was straining, trying and failing to stay neutral, as small quivers pulsed through her lower lip. Her brows knitted closely together, and her posture was small and slumped. It was only by a feat of great discipline that I resisted feeding on the intensity of her displeasure.

“Take some time to gather your—”

“No.” She said, loud, definitive, and unyielding. “No, Adrian.”

There it was. Every time she said my first name, my heartbeat stumbled. She must have sensed it, as she seemed to use that power like it was her new favorite weapon against my poker face. I might never get used to that level of familiarity and casualty from a student.

A student.

My student.

She didn’t understand that ‘no’ wasn’t an option right now. It was bad enough to be so far out of line in our off hours. I couldn’t keep doing this while on the clock.

I shook my head. “It’s not up for debate, Lila—”

“Right.” She interrupted me again, her eyes narrow as she met my gaze with stubbornness and determination. “It isn’t up for debate. I’m here right now, and we’re going to talk about it. Right. Now.”

I swallowed thickly. Who was this bold and confrontational Lila? I was so used to the nervous, innocent, yet provocative girl, that I wasn’t prepared for this much pushback. Not today. Her deep brown irises flashed with flecks of pink that I’d never let myself notice before. The signs that she wasn’t human had always been there.

Maybe something had snapped in her after last night’s debacle.

Good, I thought.

She should push back.

In some toxic part of my soul, I wanted her to force me out of hiding. Marcus had orchestrated this whole relationship to do exactly that, and maybe it was about time I started meeting expectations.

After all, she wasn’t the enemy.

I was.

Whatever magic swam through her bloodline, she’d never truly been the problem. Even if that video she’d sent me hadn’t exactly helped matters.

That was a whole nother matter that I had to address, but the fact that I hadn’t deleted the video was concerning behavior I also wasn’t ready to face.

I would delete it, of course. Later.

I inhaled deeply and lifted my chin. “I really do have a class in half an hour. But I’ll listen until then, and we can get together when there are fewer time constraints. I think I owe you that much.”