Page 4 of Zodiac Beasts

“Okay, I’m listening.” I said in a sobering attempt to be rational. “So explain it to me slow, but please explain.”

Mom cleared her throat through the line, and I tried not to let every single second she remained silent feel like a betrayal.

“So you got your father’s Zodiac Shifter genes.” She said, like she was picking apart a puzzle. “And you’re shifting into a Virgo. But you never once shifted in twenty-two years. What changed to trigger your transformation?”

“I don’t change much when I shift, so maybe it just wasn’t obvious.” I muttered, a bit disappointed in the lack of wings or tentacles or claws or horns. Vaguely pointy ears, slightly more vibrant brown eyes, and the long coveted confidence to ride a statue wasn’t really going to conquer any worlds or take vengeance against my bullies.

“I promise I would have noticed.” The tone was an eye roll all its own, but I couldn’t exactly argue. Everyone I knew picked up on my magical signature long before I was clued in. “Something had to have broken your soul’s block on your power. Shifters, especially, exist as humans for the first half of their childhood, which helps them behave and understand how to function and hide in a human society. Usually in puberty, the flood of hormones and physical growth is enough to disrupt our magical centers and free our inner beasts. Your magic must have been sleeping very deeply if you never showed any signs until now. Do you know what ignited the change?”

“I…” I froze up, losing my boldness at the confession required to answer that question. I could tell my mom anything, of course, but talking to her about sex was embarrassing.

The words dangled unsaid between us. When the line remained silent for long enough, she figured it out. Of course she did.

“You’re a Virgo…” She began, saying each word very slowly. “You never dated in school because…” She paused, interrupting herself with awkward silence. “So you didn’t transform until you…” She stopped again, then waited until the tension was so thick, I nearly hung up. After a full two minutes had passed, she finally asked with clear implication. “Did you meet someone, Lila?” An innocent question that wasn’t innocent at all. “You’ve only been at Graves for four months though. Even if you did start dating, you shouldn’t have already…” Though she trailed off, I didn’t need the words to know what she was trying to express. That I ‘shouldn’t have already been intimate with someone in less than four months of knowing them.’

That I hadn’t been desirable my whole life, so how could I have talked someone into sleeping with me so early in my relationship.

Yeah, she didn’t have to say it.

More silence fell between us, but this time it was more anger than anxiety building in my chest beneath the stall in conversation. I wasn’t about to let my own mother slut shame me when I had literally been a virgin into my twenties. Not when she’d fed me to the werewolves.

Air shook through my nostrils, while I clenched my teeth, and told myself to calm down. I knew she was on my side, but something about the phrasing was bringing back so much pain, it nearly had me wondering if I was imagining this whole thing. That maybe the last four months had been a dream, because she was right.

No one has ever wanted me.

I closed my eyes and took a three count, before I found the resolve to continue speaking.

“I met two someones.” I finally let myself admit. Maybe I needed to hear myself say it out loud. The words made it real, and speaking them filled me with unexpected boldness and pride.

That’s right, I thought. Two men were tripping over themselves for me. Sure, neither was appropriate or sane, but that was neither here nor there.

I licked my lips, remembering the taste of Marcus’ blood filled kiss, while grazing Adrian’s mate mark in the same motion.

Then I was bolder still. “But don’t worry, Mom. They’re both Alphas, and I’m an infertile Beta, so I won’t get pregnant.” I scoffed at the word. At the whole concept. I didn’t think I wanted kids, but knowing for sure that I couldn’t give her grandbabies was a deserved jab when she kept me in ignorance for a lifetime. “Although I guess I’m some kind of hybrid, so maybe it’s still possible. You would know more about that than I would though, right? You had me, so what exactly are you?” I nudged again in thinly veiled hostility.

“You’re a Beta?” She audibly gasped, not acknowledging the rest of my inquiry. “And you’re being pursued by Alphas?” More concern and shock. I didn’t know what she’d thought was going to happen when she sent me here. “Zodiac Shifters then? That’s your only shifter blood, so it would have to be.” She was thinking aloud, and I waited patiently for that line of thought to reveal something useful. “Wait…” She stopped as some revelation must have hit her. “Please tell me the Incubus wasn’t the one who was the first to—”

“Stop dodging the question.” I interrupted her to, ironically, dodge her question.

Mom sighed, but fortunately, my tactics worked, and she moved on. “You were so desperate to get into a good school, I just wanted to help by getting you in to the best one I knew. I wanted you to have everything you dreamed of. You never showed any signs of turning, and if you had, my bloodline alone should have been enough to keep you safe.” Her voice was shaking, but still she didn’t give me a real answer. Even rattled to her core, my mom revealed nothing about her own secrets. “I think we need to have this conversation in person. I’m going to book a plane ticket to see you right now.”

“Please do. But can you at least tell me what exactly that bloodline is first?”

“I’ll see you soon, Lila. Stay safe.” She hung up, and I sat there, dumbfounded, for a solid ten minutes before I dialed her again. And again. And…

What the fuck.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK.

I fired off a quick text, asking, again, what her bloodline was, hoping she’d just been too frazzled to answer me on the phone, but several more minutes passed without an answer. A few more nudge texts didn’t get anything either.

I did not understand for the life of me why she couldn’t just tell me over the phone. It wasn’t like she needed to keep her existence a secret from me. Considering, oh I don’t know, WE SHARED THE SAME BLOOD.

I hate everything.

With an exasperated sigh, I got up and started getting dressed in one of my few remaining undestroyed uniforms. I would need to order more at the rate I was going. I would be putting that charge on Adrian or Marcus’ card. Just one of many, many things that was on the docket for a serious discussion.

And as I stepped outside my dorm to head to Physics, I was about ready to start clearing everything off that table.