Page 83 of Golden Ruin

“Girl, what?”

“Called it!”

“Shit! Was it hot?”

“No fucking way.”

My chest feels tight, and I can’t decide if I wish it had never happened, or if I wish it could happen again.

I lower my eyes when my heart answers before my head gets the chance.

“Was it just a kiss?” Scar asks, and I’m sure she isn’t the only one wondering.

“Yeah. Jax made sure of that.” The small laugh that slips out surprises me, because there was nothing funny about it at the time. But, looking back, he may have just saved us that night.

Saved us from taking things too far.

Saved us from making a huge mistake.

Thinking that word, mistake, my next thought is of Sterling coming to my room later, suggesting it was something else. But we can’t afford to live in a fantasy, pretend we haven’t broken each other before. And now that Jax is in the picture, there’s no room for error.

Not again.

“Damn kids,” Dez teases. “I can’t even count how many times Ricky and I have gotten interrupted.”

“Is that what I have to look forward to?” Blue asks.

“Just wait,” Dez laughs. “They’ve got the worst timing.”

I realize my heart’s a bit lighter when an easy laugh leaves me.

“So, have things been awkward?” Joss asks.

I shrug. “Considering we’ve both been actively avoiding each other? I think it’s safe to say yes.”

“Well, what do you think it meant? Now that the smoke has cleared, and you’ve had time to think?”

I don’t answer Jules’ question right away, allowing myself time to feel it. All of it.

“I think it meant there’s a bit of unresolved… I guess I don’t know what to call it,” I admit.

The whole thing was like muscle memory. Like, once we got close enough, our bodies fell back into a pattern. I moved closer, he moved closer. He touched me, I touched him back. Then, the kiss.

“Do you regret it?” Scar peers up as she fastens the strap of her heel.

“Most of me.”

“Most of you?” Jules smirks as her brow arches.

There’s no point in hiding the truth from them. We tell each other everything anyway.

“The parts of me that don’t… remember him,” I say, and when a slow smile crosses Jules’ face, I know she gets it.

“Well, I’m glad it happened,” Blue says, and I look her way, a little surprised. She’s probably the most level-headed of the six of us, so I expected her to agree that it was kind of reckless.

“Really?”

She nods. “Yep. Even though things are quiet between you two right now, that kiss started something. Eventually, you’ll have to talk about it, confront what it meant, and that’s when you’ll know.”