Page 122 of Golden Ruin

My heart sinks, and while I don’t regret being so open, I’m aware I may have admitted that too soon.

“Lex, I–”

“I love you too, Sterling, and… like you said, I never stopped, either. Not really.”

I’m speechless, staring as my fucking heart grows twice as big just hearing those words. Love doesn’t feel like a strong enough word to describe what I feel for her, but I settle for it because it’s the closest thing there is.

I rub the side of her neck with my thumb again.

“Those might be the best four words I’ve ever heard in my life.”

She smiles at that, and I’m already anxious to hear her say it again. We’re not a full-on couple, but we’re trying, we’re open, and that’s good enough for me.

For now, anyway.

“If you’re open to it, and if you don’t have plans later, we should hang out. Just you, me, and Jax. I promise to keep it chill.”

My phrasing draws a smile from her. “I’d like that. Very much, actually.”

Hearing that answer, my head’s probably twice the size it should be right now.

“I do think we should take things slowly, though, keep it lowkey,” she says. “There’s still a lynch mob out there after the podcast.”

My stomach twists when she reminds me of the stunt Tiffany pulled.

“But more than that, we have to be careful for Jax. I just want to make sure we’re taking the right steps for him. Not just us.”

I nod. “Couldn’t agree with you more. But I don’t want you overthinking things, either. There’s no pressure to be anything, Lex. Honestly? I just want you around.”

She turns toward me again, and this time her eyes are glistening. Eventually, she nods, and I want to kiss her again.

“Okay,” she says, and it’s a soft, breathy word.

A wave of boldness hits me, and after a quick glance around, making sure it’s just us, I kiss her forehead while Jax is in the tunnel slide.

Her eyes linger on me a moment, then she reaches to squeeze my fingers for just a second as she smiles.

“So much for keeping things lowkey,” she teases.

“Be patient with me. You know I’m all hands when it comes to you.”

She laughs louder this time. “Trust me. I haven’t forgotten.”

She squeezes my thigh once before pulling away, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one having a hard time with the distance. But what’s keeping me sane, what’s holding me together as we stick to the plan, is knowing that even if I can’t touch her out in the open… I have her heart.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Sterling

Even without looking up from my phone, I feel Lexi staring. And I also don’t need to see her face to know she’s laughing.

“For the love of God, just let me do it,” she huffs. I’m guessing she’s been holding that in since the moment Jax politely informed me that his mom builds better blanket forts than me.

Thinking about it, I glance up at what I’ve put together. And like clockwork, one side collapses in on Jax, and he giggles from underneath the sheet now covering his face.

“Told you,” he calls out, taunting me.

Lexi laughs, then hides it behind her hand when I glare at her.