Page 114 of Golden Ruin

The obstacle that keeps the fucking gulf between me and Lexi is me… which means I’m the one who has to make it right.

Problem is, I’m not sure I even know how to do that.

Or worse, I’m not sure it isn’t already too late.

*

@QweenPandora

What’s better than one hot girl out on the town on a Friday night?

SIX hot girls out on the town on a Friday night.

Looks like the #QueensofCypressPointe are enjoying some time away from their kings. But don’t get yourselves in too much trouble, ladies. Wouldn’t want those kings getting jealous, now would we?

Or… maybe we would.

Later, peeps :)

–P

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Lexi

The whole point in calling for a ride instead of driving myself to the lounge was so I could have a few drinks and let loose, but my head’s so fucked up I’m not even a little tipsy.

This is bullshit.

Every time I close my eyes, I see Sterling’s face in my head, that look he gave when he saw the boxes. He was gutted, and I hate that I’m the reason. I keep telling myself I have nothing to feel guilty about, but that feels like a lie.

This was the plan all along, though. I’d stay at Sterling’s until I found a place, then Jax and I would settle elsewhere. I have to rebuild my life, and I can’t let Sterling be my foundation. I tried that before and trusting him with my whole heart bit me in the ass. So, I’m doing what I have to do. Because if we do turn into something, and then he decides to let go, I have someplace safe of my own to land.

My head settles against the seat as I watch the city pass outside the window. I went out thinking I could escape, but it didn’t exactly work out like that.

My phone buzzes with a text from Matt, and I ignore it. There’s already enough cluttering my head without adding more. Mostly, I’m trying to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing. My entire argument has been that this is for Jax, but I know it’ll break him when we leave. That’s only temporary, though. We’ll make the new apartment feel like home, and things will go back to normal.

Back to how it was before Sterling became part of our everyday lives.

My heart aches in this unexpected way as I think about that, being apart again. It doesn’t mean we can’t figure out what’s going on between us, but it does mean I need boundaries.

“Have a nice evening, ma’am.”

I sigh as I stare at Sterling’s house, the dark windows, imagining the night he’s had.

“Thank you.”

I climb out and start toward the door, key in hand as that ache in my chest grows stronger. The feeling that comes with it is completely my fault. Because I stupidly got too comfortable here, and without meaning to… his home now feels a lot like it’s my home.

The house is dark, and my steps echo against the marble as I lock up. I head upstairs, doing my best to keep quiet because it’s almost one a.m., and I’m pretty sure Sterling’s asleep. But when I pass his room, I notice the door cracked open, then his voice breaks the silence.

“Got a minute?”

Startled, I clutch my chest, stopping cold in front of his doorway. My heart’s racing when I step closer. “Yeah, what’s up?”

He sits up on the edge of his bed, shifting halfway into the light, and now I see the redness and exhaustion in his eyes.

“I know we said tomorrow, but… I think we need to talk.”