Page 52 of Every Time We Touch

“Surely it can’t be that bad, honey.”

“I…” I rub the wetness from my cheeks. “I’ve been seeing Clancy.” Whereas when I told Heather, it was mostly shame running through me, now I have the fresh wound of breaking up with Clancy to deal with as well. “I broke up with her. Just…” A sob escapes me again. “Just now, before you arrived.” I hide my face in my hands. What a fucking mess. If only I wasn’t so crazy about her.

“Eric’s Clancy?” Mom pulls me close. “Oh, honey.” Her arm around me tightens. “No wonder you’re so upset.”

I remove my hands from my face and let my head rest on her shoulder, letting her hold me together for a moment.

“That sounds terribly complicated.” Mom strokes my hair.

“Heather’s angry with me,” I mumble.

“Heather will be fine,” she says. “Let’s focus on you for a moment.”

“I think I’m in love with her,” I whisper, because how can I even say that out loud.

“It sure does look that way,” Mom says gently.

“But it hurts everyone.” Including me now. My dad will never know. Heather will get over it soon enough. But Clancy… God, how is she feeling right now? At the very least, I owe her a face-to-face conversation. I also find the prospect of seeing her impossible—just as impossible as the idea of never seeing her again.

Mom doesn’t say anything. Her hand keeps moving through my hair, soothing me. At least I can sit here for a while with my mother, take a few breaths, until my mind begins to untangle itself from this mess I made.

“How long were you seeing her?” Mom asks.

I huff out some air. “Not long.” Oh, Christ. So many tears over something so… fragile and short. In the grand scheme of things, it might as well have been nothing—but it feels like everything. “We kissed last week. The day she broke up with dad.” I try to square my shoulders. I need to pull myself together. I can do this. “We knew it was wrong and we stopped it immediately.” I take another deep breath. Maybe telling my mother like this will make me realize the extent of the madness I’ve been caught up in—because it is a sort of madness. “But then⁠—”

I’m interrupted by the loud chime of the doorbell.

“Are you expecting someone?” Mom asks.

“No, but it might be Heather.” I inhale sharply. “Or Dad.” The panic in my voice rises.

“Do you want me to see who it is? If it’s your dad, I’ll ask him to come back another time.” Mom’s already getting up. “Can I let Heather in?”

“Yeah.” I can’t be fighting with my sister while going through a breakup—no matter how short the relationship.

The bell rings again.

“Okay.” Mom gives my shoulder a final squeeze before heading to the door.

I fall back against the couch cushions, exhausted by everything that’s happened today—on not nearly enough sleep.

“Um, Jen,” Mom has walked back into the den alone. “It’s Clancy.”

“What?” I jump out of the couch.

“What do you want me to do?” she asks.

“I—I don’t know.” I rub my palms against my jeans. My back breaks out into a sweat.

“Do you want to see her? You don’t have to,” Mom says. “I can ask her to leave.”

I can’t ask my mother to tell Clancy to leave. I’ve already been such a coward. That dreadful phone call earlier must have devastated her.

“It’s okay. I need to face her at some point.”

“Are you sure?” Mom doesn’t care that Clancy’s waiting by the door.

I nod. “Yeah.”