Page 111 of Plug and Drain

It didn’t stop his heart aching in Susie’s absence. She’d made him feel like anything was possible. Left to his own counsel, he was lost.

He watched Susie give the room a onceover before exiting into the hall and disappearing from sight.

He was pleased when she reappeared a moment later in the reception area.

He wondered if she ever thought of him.

The answer, he was sure, was a resounding ‘no’.

When Susie’s shift finally ended, Arken followed her back to the academy at a distance, watching from the shadows to ensure she arrived back safely. He wasn’t sure how he felt about effectively stalking her, but his misgivings faded when he saw her take a shortcut along a dark alleyway. He didn’t care that it was a popular spot for buying plants and terrariums by day, or that he himself had come here to buy Susie roses after spending the night with her.

Now, he only saw the potential dangers that could be lurking in the shadowy doorways and behind tall potted plants.

There was no denying it. He cared for her. Worried for her. It went beyond the usual possessiveness of a basic claim.

He’d been wrong. He didn’t want a Master/pet dynamic, at least, not the kind the academy promoted. He didn’t want her to have to give up everything for him.

I was wrong to ask that of her.

He wanted a relationship of some kind, one where she looked at him with pride, or at least with the assurance that he was someone she could rely on. A friendship, even.

Ironically, a friendship seemed even more difficult to attain.

I have such a long way to go.

He’d never asked anyone to be his pet before. Had never purchased jewellery, either. He winced at the memory of how he’d presented Susie with the collar. The tense look on her face that had initially puzzled him, before he’d recognised her aversion.

Now, he was left to be ashamed of his conduct. Arken felt the temptation to give up, to stop before he’d even started. But that hopeless feeling was not as strong as it had been in the past. He did not want to simply resign himself to his circumstances anymore.

Susie had awoken something within him.

He wanted to fight for her.

Once he had ensured that she was safely back in her room, Arken nodded once at the guard stationed to watch her floor before returning to his office.

Something had shifted inside him.

Tonight, he had finally accepted the reality that Susie would never be his. But maybe, as Nathaniel had put it, he could endeavour to be worthy of her.

Maybe, one day, she would regard him with something more than pity as she cast her green-eyed gaze on him.

Maybe, one day, he would be able to face his reflection without flinching.

He’d thought his soul was destroyed, that his past self was long dead.

But earlier as he’d stood outside the inn watching Susie, he’d realised that his soul was still very much alive.

And, to his surprise, he wanted to live. And not just simply exist. He wanted to feel alive.

Which was how she made him feel every time she was near him. His heart raced at the mere thought of her, and his body shivered with hopeful anticipation.

He mulled on this as he entered his suite. The bed somehow lacked appeal, and he ended up back in his office instead. He hated his office, but it was about time he started spending time here.

He sat at his desk, but he was too drunk to give the mounting paperwork his serious attention.

Arken dozed in his armchair until dawn, which arrived so suddenly, he realised he’d fallen into a deep sleep. He jerked awake; his sleepiness gone in an instant as alarm gripped him.

Something had woken him.