Page 56 of And It’s Still You

Giggling, she carefully climbed onto the bed and snuggled up on my good side. I leaned my cheek on top of her head and closed my eyes, silently thanking God for all the second chances in life He was providing me with. For so long, I didn’t feel worthy, but time and time again, He showed me that I was.

Everything I had, I promised to steward it well, starting with my marriage.

I didn’t care what anyone said, Mrs. would be back in front of Moya’s name before the baby was born. Whoever didn’t like it didn’t have to be a part of my life. I’d be a fool to fumble the ball again.

Going home and seeing my son was the highlight of my healing journey. The way he ran to me, carefully embraced me, and cried, had me crying as well. Grateful was an understatement. To be back with him meant so much to me, especially having his mother by our side.

Moya helped me shower and get settled on the couch before going to fix us some lunch. I was watching TV with Ocean when my father arrived. I’d called him over before everyone else so we could talk. We were long overdue for the conversation, and it was no better time than now.

“Granddad!” Ocean exclaimed, hopping off the couch and running to Onyx.

Onyx scooped him up and allowed Ocean to squeeze his neck. I let them have their moment then told Ocean to go into the kitchen to help Moya. He was a little upset but jogged off to go join her.

The sound of the movie playing in the background was the only thing that could be heard as Onyx stood there, staring at me. Moya was right. He looked like a different person. In his eyes, I could tell he was still harboring some guilt, but I also saw a sense of peace.

“Are you going to stand there looking at me, or come give me some love?” I inquired, holding my arm up the best I could. My chest was still hurting, but I had to move to work through the pain.

Onyx ran his hand over his head and stalked over to me. He sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. For the longest, we sat there. His embrace even felt different. There’d never been a doubt in my mind that he loved me, but it was radiating off his body, pouring into me. It reminded me of how it felt when I hugged Ocean.

“It’s not yo’ fault, Onyx. None of it is, so let that guilt go. I’m good. I’m alive. It’s all over. Don’t hold onto it.”

“I should’ve listened to you, O.”

“It’s all good. What happened, happened. It’s in the past.”

Onyx pulled away, and his eyes were watery. “I apologize, Son. Not only for you getting shot, but for not being the father you needed and deserved. I should’ve never pushed you so hard in JMG, and I should’ve supported and encouraged you to save yo’ marriage. Like I told Moya, jealousy got in the way. My way of living got in the way. I got in the way, and I genuinely apologize, O.”

“I ’preciate it, real shit. I forgive you.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. At the end of the day, you’re my father. You’ve always shown me love and been present in my life. You’ve always tried. When Ocean was born, I could tell you were trying to do better with him. That alone was enough for me to forgive you without speaking on it. I understand why you felt the need to push me. Did I like it? Hell no. That’s why I always pushed back and put my foot down. I was hoping you’d realize you couldn’t control my life like yo’ father did yours. Did you influence me? Of course. I’ve been following you around since I could walk. There are ways I looked up to you, Onyx. You’re not as bad as you make yourself seem. You ain’t gotta keep that hard exterior on anymore.”

“Trust me.” Onyx leaned back and expelled a relieved sigh. “That exterior is gone. You don’t know what seeing you like that did to me, Son. My entire world stopped the second the bullet pierced you. The thought of losing you, especially over my reckless behavior . . . Just know I don’t think I would’ve ever forgiven myself. Yo’ mother damn sure wouldn’t have. I can’t tell you how many times she’s threatened me over the last two weeks. I had to steer clear of her after a while.”

“You know Angela doesn’t play ’bout me.”

“Hell nah. She never has, but it’s been the same with me. Thank you for looking out for me, Son. The roles would’ve been reversed, and I much rather them had been that way.”

I swayed my head. “Nah. My ass would’ve been in prison somewhere if it had. I would’ve lost all my sense and killed all of them without blinking. Thank you for saving me and keeping it real with me, Dad. Moya told me you explained to her why you are like you are, and I get it. You didn’t have it easy growing up.”

“Dad, huh? I haven’t heard that from you in years. I may have grown up differently, but it doesn’t take away that I could’ve prevented becoming a product of my environment. I could’ve made my own path like you did.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“It does, which is why I wanted yo’ opinion on handing it all over to Tre.”

My brows shot up. Never in my life did I think Onyx would hand JMG over, especially to someone who didn’t have Collier blood.

“Are you serious?”

“I am. I think it’s ’bout time I retire and enjoy life. Enjoy my kids and grandkids. Maybe even possibly find a wife. Of course, JMG will always be a part of the Collier bloodline, but none of us of will have to be in it for it to keep going.”

“Tre’s been down with JMG for years. He knows the ins and outs of everything. He’s obviously the best choice.”

“That’s what I was thinking too. I’ll have to teach him a few things over the course of a few months, but the moment I feel confident ’bout stepping away, I am.”

I placed my hand on Onyx’s shoulder and smiled. “I’m proud of you.”