Page 53 of And It’s Still You

“What do you mean?”

Onyx stood up and walked to Shea’s bed with his hands buried in his pockets. “Jealousy. I was jealous of what you and O had. It reflected what I’d lost, and I couldn’t fathom him having it. Sounds fucked up, I know, but it’s true. Angela was the love of my life, Moya. She was everything to me. In the beginning of our relationship, I was like O. It was Angela over everything, and my father didn’t approve. He told me I had to change my way of thinking. I had to readjust my focus to JMG being first in my life because it was mine. It was my destiny, and I wasn’t supposed to let anything get in the way of it.

“He drilled it in me to the point I picked up on that mentality. I believed what he said was true, and it was easy for me to. Like any son, my father was my idol. I watched him carry JMG on his back and wanted to do the same. In the end, the money, power, and respect became what I was hungry for. It became everything to me, and I started neglecting Angela.

“Like you, she was vocal ’bout it. She gave me a time limit, and I didn’t think she was serious. I assumed because we’d been together for so long that she was bluffing. I assumed that showering her with money and gifts would keep her. My father convinced me that she wouldn’t leave, to stay connected to who we were, but Angela proved to be different. She stood on her word and left me when O was five.

“Shit crushed me, Moya. I’d never experienced pain like that in my life, but I worked through it. I thought since I’d lost my family that throwing myself into JMG would heal me. All it did was allow me to bury the pain and not work through my heartbreak. It festered into anger and jealousy. When it came to August and Wednesday finding love, I was cool with it. There was nothing more I wanted for my daughters than to be loved properly, but I thought O’s life should mimic mine since mine mimicked my father’s.

“I knew O was different when he met you. I saw so much of me in him that I tried my hardest to make sure he did what I did. So, I apologize, Moya. I apologize for the part I played in the temporary demise of yo’ relationship. I should’ve been proud of O for wanting to do something different with the Collier bloodline. When he told me that he didn’t want Ocean a part of it, I was relieved. I felt like Ocean was a way I could make up for my faults, not realizing that I needed to do it with O all along. I pray it’s not too late.”

Onyx’s admission was exactly what I suspected all along. From the way his shoulders relaxed and the smile stretching across his face, I could tell he felt better. It was something he’d been holding in for years, so I could only imagine how it had been weighing him down.

I got up and stood beside him. He draped his arm over my shoulder, kissed my cheek, and said, “I truly do apologize, Moya. I want us to have a better relationship moving forward.”

“I forgive you, Onyx. Thank you for being real and open to us working on a better relationship.”

“That’s music to my ears.”

Everything felt like it was falling into place exactly how it was supposed to. Having reconciliation and peace with Shea’s family was something I’d been wanting, even when I was being stubborn and mean toward him. We were all coming together in ways I’d never imagined, especially with Onyx.

All I could do was pray that Shea would wake up and witness it. He deserved to be a part of it.

Onyx stayed for hours and encouraged me to go home to shower and get some rest. The baby had me exhausted, so I agreed. Over the last week, I’d only left Shea’s side three times. It didn’t feel right leaving him. If I wasn’t there when he woke up, I’d be pissed. Honestly, it sounded selfish of me, but I wanted to be the first person he saw when he woke up. I wanted to be the one to witness him opening his eyes and coming back to us.

With that in mind, I made my trip quick. A two-hour nap would do me some good, hopefully. After a good hot shower and moisturizing my body, I climbed into Shea’s bed and immediately felt sleep taking over. I’d been sleeping in the chair at the hospital, and it was uncomfortable as hell. The nurses offered me one of the spare rooms, but I refused. I needed to stay close to Shea in case anything happened.

About halfway through my nap, my ringing phone woke me up. The only reason I checked it was in case someone was calling about Shea or Ocean. Ocean was actually with my mother. She agreed to keep him when she heard about Shea. Surprisingly, she’d been far more supportive than I thought she would have. Every morning, she would call me to see how Shea was doing and give me updates on Ocean. I appreciated her stepping in because I needed her.

My eyes rapidly blinked to adjust to the light. Anger fueled me upon seeing it was Neil calling me. He’d interrupted some of the best sleep I’d gotten in a week, and I could bet money it was for nothing. Apparently, he didn’t take heed to what Shea had said.

I ignored the call, only for him to call right back. That further enraged me.

“What?” I answered, yelling.

“Moya?”

“What do you want, Neil?”

“Damn. It’s like that?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “If you don’t answer my question, I’m hanging up.”

“I just wanted to call and check on you since I haven’t heard from you.”

“And what makes you think you’d hear from me? Outside of work, I’ve never reached out to you. You must be delusional or something.”

“Hmm. So, it must be true?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I heard you were back with your ex-husband, but I didn’t want to believe it after everything he put you through. He was the one who answered your phone that day, isn’t he?”

The only thing I could do was laugh to keep from fully spazzing on Neil. He truly had the audacity to call and confront me on something that had absolutely nothing to do with him. In the office, I kept it short, sweet, and professional. At the end of the day, I understood I had to work with him. I understood we had to have some type of relationship to play our parts in keeping the company running, but he’d overstepped in a major way.

“Neil. I advise you to never contact me again, or I will let my husband do whatever it is he wants to do. What I have going on in my life has nothing to do with you. I’ve made it very clear over the years that I’d never let your dick near me with a ten-foot pole, so why are you so pressed? Is it because every time I reject you, it hurts your ego? You truly think you’re God’s gift to women when we all know you have no substance, so you use your looks and smooth talking to manipulate any woman stupid enough to fall for it. I’d hate to show you what it is, but if you contact me again, that’s what it’ll be. Fuck you.”

He was blocked seconds after I hung up. His audacity had me fully awake, so I got up to get dressed and head back to the hospital. Imagine my surprise when I was getting ready to walk to the garage and heard the doorbell ring. Everyone connected to Shea knew where he was, so I didn’t know who it could be. When I peeked through the side windows and saw a woman standing there, I felt my blood pressure going up again. I had the right mind not to answer it, but curiosity got the best of me.