Page 36 of And It’s Still You

“Whatever. You know what you sound like? Loser, loser, double loser.” She did the hand motions and all. We fell over one another, laughing.

I loved seeing the goofy side of her. Most times, around others, she wasn’t as silly. She was a bit more reserved, and I was the same way. We truly brought out the best in one another.

For an hour, we played games and talked smack the entire time while snacking and drinking.

“Man, I remember being nervous as hell the entire time during our date. That’s why you kept winning. I was too thrown off by yo’ aura and beauty,” I stated, looking at the card she threw down. “It was yo’ fault.”

Moya playfully rolled her eyes. “Oh, whatever. You’re not as good as me, and that’s okay. I grew up playing games all the time with Daddy and Albany, so it was only right I kicked your ass too.”

“You know, you talk a lot of shit for someone who’s ’bout to lose.”

“Says who?”

“UNO, UNO out!” I threw down my two cards and hopped up from the table, clapping my hands. Moya had beat me the last three games, so it was about time I won.

She kissed her teeth and threw her cards down. “I’m convinced you cheated. I was about to hit you with some good stuff too.”

“You waited too late. I won.”

“About time. I was getting bored winning all the games.”

I went over and jokingly mushed her head. Moya hopped up and started chasing me around the backyard, screaming when I turned around and chased her. We ran around like we weren’t in our thirties and about to be tired as hell afterward. When I caught up to Moya, I gently tackled her to the ground and peppered kisses all over her face, careful not to hurt her arm.

The pecks turned into us almost devouring one another. Moya’s hands were on my face as our tongues danced and moans filled the air. My dick was bricked, begging to be released and inside Moya, but I guess she wasn’t ready. When I tugged at the button on her shorts, she placed her hand on top of mine and pulled away.

“Shea.”

I moved my hand and sat up. “My bad, Love. I got caught up in the moment.”

“I did too,” she admitted and sat up next to me with her arms resting on her knees. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize ’bout anything. It’s not yo’ fault or mine. I can’t act like it’s easy being around you and not being inside you. I’ve been craving you since you’ve been here, but I know we gotta set boundaries.”

“We do, but we’re grown, right? I mean, it’s not like we haven’t had sex before. We were married and have a whole child together. It’s just . . . different now.”

“Because it’s been so long?”

She nodded. “Exactly. It almost makes me nervous.”

“Why?”

“I know what you can do to my body, Shea. No man has been able to do what you do to me. It’s pleasing but scary because I know it’ll only deepen the feelings I’ve redeveloped for you. It’ll make me crazy again, and I don’t want to be crazy.”

“Shit. I love crazy Moya. What I need to do to bring her out?”

Moya elbowed me and cackled. “I’m being serious.”

“I am too. I get it, though. I do. Sex is a different, deeper type of intimacy. Do you think we’re ready to get that deep again?”

Over the years, I’d learn to disconnect sex with my emotions. With Moya, I wouldn’t be able to do that. She wasn’t just a nut to me. Once upon a time, she was my everything. Honestly, she still was. I aimed to handle her body with care. I aimed to please her, to make sure she got hers before I did. I aimed to make love to her, to allow some of my emotions to speak for me from a sexual standpoint. It was deeper and more intense with her.

Was I ready for it? Absolutely.

If she wasn’t, I had no choice but to respect it.

I’d never want her to do anything she wasn’t ready for.

After a few seconds, Moya stood up and reached her hand out for mine. I stood up and placed mine in hers. She invaded my personal space, pressing her forehead against mine and inhaling a deep breath.