Page 10 of And It’s Still You

“You know I wouldn’t do you like that, Bubba. I had to scare you since you didn’t want me kissing on you.”

“I did. You were just doing too much.”

“Doing too much?”

I tried to wrap my arm around his neck, but he was too fast that time. He dashed around the corner, going right to the living room to the other side of the couch. We ran around the house until I heard the doorbell ring. Ocean sprinted to answer it while I stopped in my tracks. I looked at my clock on the wall to see that O’Shea was right on time.

From him, I didn’t expect anything less.

Not ready to see Shea, I headed to Ocean’s room to finish packing his bag. My eyes watered thinking about him leaving me for a week. Him being gone meant a week of loneliness for me. While the break was needed, I was used to having him around or at least within twenty minutes of me. Shea was taking him to the beach that was three hours away. I might have been slightly jealous, but their time together was needed.

“Mommy?” Ocean yelled, and I could hear his footsteps getting close.

I could also feel him getting closer, something I hated.

To me, it was absolutely insane how Shea and I still seemed to be connected on a deeper level outside of Ocean. My soul felt him. Whenever he was sick, I knew. Whenever something was going on with him mentally and emotionally, I knew. Whenever he was around, even if I couldn’t see him, I knew.

As hard as I tried to erase him in that aspect, I couldn’t. Outside of Ocean, our worlds still collided, somehow, some way.

“I’m in your room, Ocean.”

My head stayed down, and my hands stayed busy. Shea’s calming scent instantly filled the room, one that used to set my soul ablaze. The earthy notes mixed with spice used to call me to him. I remembered the late nights when he wouldn’t come home until the wee hours of the morning. I’d sleep on his side of the bed just to smell him, to feel near him and less lonely. It only worked for so long.

“Hey, Love,” Shea spoke, and I was pissed at the shiver traveling down my spine.

That sultry, deep baritone was still like music to my ears. His voice had always put me in the mind of Da Baby. The way it was captivating and could easily put me in a trance needed to be studied. Shea’s presence was commanding. That was expected in a Collier man, but there was something about his voice that allowed people to cling onto his every word.

Why does he still do this to me?

Without looking up as I packed the last of Ocean’s bag, I replied, “Hey, Shea.”

“You know you didn’t need to pack him anything, right? I got everything at the house.”

“I know, but I wanted to help you out a little. Plus, you know how I am when he goes out of town. He has to look good.”

“Damn. What you trying to say?”

“Nothing at all. I’m only helping.”

“Ocean, let me talk to your mama right quick.”

“Yes, sir!”

The sound of Ocean’s footsteps grew distant by the second. I inhaled a deep breath before turning to look at the man I once loved with every fiber of my being, the man who rocked my entire world.

Goodness.

I hated the way my heart rapidly thumped in my chest.

I hated the way my palms became sweaty.

I hated the way my stomach erupted like a volcano.

I hated it all because I couldn’t understand it.

“What’s up?” I asked Shea, placing my hands on my hips.

He stood there, staring at me with his hands in his pockets. I swear, he wore all-black on purpose anytime he picked Ocean up. Years ago, I told him it was my favorite look on him. There was something about the way the black complemented his smooth, butter pecan-tinted skin and the jet-black hair on his face. His T-shirt was a size too big while his basketball shorts fit the way I liked, a little baggy but fitting.