Page 17 of Stay Here Forever

Out of vim, feeling utterly exhausted, Audrey collapsed back into her seat and leaned toward Luke as he silently offered his arm. She looked up at him and was relieved to see no pity in his eyes, only compassion. “Do you understand now?” He nodded as Felix sniffed, watching the tender exchange.

Turning back to her brother, Audrey needed to make a few last things clear. “Felix, the time for hiding anything is over. We need to sit down and discuss the family finances and see if we can find a way to make things right for Victoria. And you need to face your responsibilities. When is the last time you left London to check on the estate? People rely on you, and it’s time to act like it. I’ll help you, but after that, I don’t know where we’ll stand. You’ve broken my trust in you, do you understand that?”

He nodded just as Hopkins entered the breakfast room carrying a letter. “For you, Miss Jacobs,” he said with a quick bow.

“Thank you, Hopkins.” Audrey took the letter and was about to cast it aside when the handwriting caught her eye, causing her to emit a gasp.

“What is it, are you all right?” Genuine concern was in Luke’s eyes.

“It’s from Rufus,” she replied, eyes drifting back to the letter that suddenly felt as if it weighed a stone.

Luke stood and leaned over to place a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you’ll want to be alone to process what he has to say.”

“Thank you, I’ll show you out.” Audrey walked with Luke to the door, leaving Felix behind to stew in the breakfast room. “I’m glad you were here with me this morning. All of that was hard to hear, but I needed to know what happened.”

“And now I better understand what you were going through. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.” His touch was gentle on her cheek, and she leaned into it like a cat against a table leg.

“But you’re here now, and I’m so grateful for it. I’ll come to you this afternoon once I’ve had time to sort through a few things.” She didn’t want him to leave but knew she should read the letter on her own.

Watching as Luke departed, Audrey turned and made her way upstairs to her room, bracing herself for the explanation Rufus might try and offer.

Sitting at her desk, taking in a deep breath, Audrey broke the letter’s seal.

My sweetest Audrey,

It was a delight to see you yesterday, what a surprise! I apologize if I seemed a bit taken aback, as I’d not realized your brother refrained from informing you of my recent marriage to Mrs. Archer.

I know you understand all the unfortunate business of before. I did truly care for you, my dear, and would have married you if possible, but my responsibility to provide for the baronetcy must always take precedence.

However, if you find yourself amenable, you are still quite the lovely woman, and I wouldn’t mind picking up where we left off. Now that I’ve married well, I can afford to keep a mistress, and the honor of that position is still available should you ever wish to resume intimacies. There is no need for us to be strangers to one another.

Always your faithful servant,

Rufus

Audrey was utterly baffled as she read the utterly absurd letter. Responsibility to the baronetcy must take precedence indeed. Why then did he abandon the country and all responsibility for his family’s estate for the better part of a decade? When she reached the final paragraph where he offered up the position of his mistress, like he was honoring Audrey, she thought her eyebrows might fly off her forehead with how high they were raised.

Filled with disgust, she crumpled the letter and tossed it aside. How had she ever felt affection for this man? Audrey hated that she had allowed herself to become so infatuated, that her nineteen-year-old self couldn’t see past his charming façade, instead turning him into who she wanted him to be, her own invention.

Ironically, Luke was everything she had believed of Rufus. He was the walking embodiment of all she could desire in a husband and saw her as a person of worth, treating her with the respect everyone deserved. As the son of a viscount, Luke held far more standing than Rufus. Nevertheless, Rufus considered himself superior to those around him, while Luke treated everyone equally and engaged in respectable and honorable work, much like her father.

Though Victoria broke Rufus’s spell a fortnight past, only yesterday had Audrey felt she might be capable of envisioning a life beyond him. When he appeared under that willow, she’d been so completely thrown a dozen different emotions had flooded her at once. But the overarching feeling had been disappointment at not completing her kiss with Luke.

Luke was who now consumed her every thought, and though she knew many of her feelings might continue to be muddled as she broke old thought patterns, defaulting to thinking about Rufus, there was no doubt in her mind as to who she wanted.

Pulling a piece of parchment from her desk drawer, Audrey decided it was time Luke knew how she felt.

CHAPTER 11

Luke’s thoughts were in a bit of a tumult as he left Audrey and strolled toward the Kent townhome. The amount of information and upheaval the past day had left him spinning. He needed something to focus on, an anchor to help him make sense of everything he was feeling. Of course, it had to be Audrey.

This morning’s conversation had shed quite a bit of light on his brother’s comments regarding perceptions of Audrey. Recalling how her voice shook telling Felix about her self-imposed prison, a world where she believed Rufus would come back for her so she wouldn’t fall apart, he could thrash his former friend for letting her spend eight years in a tortured hope.

Audrey had done what she must in order to protect herself when nobody else would, when the people who should have been looking out for her wellbeing were instead wagering on her future without her knowledge.

Luke was livid. And while he wouldn’t change the past ten years, unable to contemplate his existence without Inez, a part of him still wished he would have fought for Audrey all those years ago. Perhaps if he hadn’t stepped aside for Rufus when he saw that Audrey’s attention had been captured, but instead had continued to pursue her, let her know she had a choice, he could have spared her some of the pain she’d experienced and the sense of unworthiness she’d expressed.

Arriving at Stephen’s, Luke shook himself out of his melancholic thoughts and rapped on the door. His brother received him in the study, and the two sat down to catch up.