Page 28 of Built to Last

“For what?” Marco laughed. “For being interested in someone else? And for the record, I think you and Gilbert Meyers are cute together.”

All kinds of nerves and prickles and numbness hit my body like a truck. “I don’t know⁠—”

I stopped, then sighed. I was tired of running from my feelings, tired of running from who I was. Now I was in a unique position, one I hadn’t been in for ages. I had friends, gay friends, who I was completely confident would respect my privacy and keep whatever secrets I had.

Except I didn’t want to have any secrets anymore.

“I do like him,” I said. “But I’m shit at relationships. I…I haven’t really come out to the important people in my life. It’s made it hard to get involved with anyone.”

“Mmm.” Marco nodded sagely and crossed his arms. “Been there, done that.”

“You have?” I stared at him.

“Haven’t we all?” he replied.

“I guess so,” I mumbled.

“There’s no gay law that says you have to be out,” Marco went on. “That’s something you should do on your own time, always. But I get the feeling the closet is getting a little too dark and tight for you.”

“It is,” I admitted. “And honestly, at this point, I don’t even know if that’s my biggest problem. In or out, I still suck at relationships. And Gilbert and I have spent so long in conflict with each other. Only now, well, things have started to change.”

I was pretty sure I sounded like an idiot, but Marco took everything I said seriously.

“You can’t try to force things with relationships,” he said. “Believe me, I know. The best piece of advice I can give you is to take everything one step at a time and enjoy the moment where you are.”

“So wait,” I said, actually feeling better for hearing that quick, sage advice. “I just shot you down, and now you’re giving me advice about how to get with another guy?”

Marco laughed. The sound was open and friendly. I was suddenly deeply grateful he’d connected with me professionally, and I saw the potential for us to be friends for a long time to come. “What can I say?” he said with a shrug. “Someday, my prince will come, and since it’s not you, maybe I can score some romantic karma points by helping you out. Oh, and for the record,” he shifted his stance, leaning closer to me like he was imparting a secret, “I’m pretty sure you have a very good shot with Gilbert.”

That information should not have made me giddy and tingly the way it did. I was a grown-ass man in his thirties. I should not be getting all excited over the prospect that a guy I’d set my sights on might just want me back for more than a hot and heavy moment in a locker room.

“Let’s head back to the RV and make sure all the paperwork is signed,” I said, thumping Marco’s arm and moving physically so I could move on mentally.

The rest of our business was more or less concluded. Inspection really was the last thing on the list before the project was complete. My guys had already moved the heavy equipment on to the storage lot, where it would wait until we broke ground on the next project. They’d cleaned up nearly everything that needed tidying, too. It really was the end.

I could have taken a half-day off, like I gave Angela, and driven the RV back to the RV park. I couldn’t just leave things half-resolved, though, so after lunch, I took a deep breath, gave myself a pep talk about not being a chicken shit when it came to love, and headed over to Common Grounds.

“Great! You’re here,” Gilbert greeted me as soon as I walked through the door, his entire attitude changing from the way he’d interacted with me for the last several months.

“Yeah, I couldn’t resist the lure of Costa Rican coffee,” I replied, pretty sure I was shit at small talk.

“It’s pretty amazing,” Gilbert said stepping back behind the counter from where he’d been putting product out on a shelf for people to buy. Chase and Emily were working the afternoon shift as usual, and they hardly blinked as Gilbert worked around them to take down a large carafe of coffee and to pour me a cup. “Marco gave me the name of this niche distributor, and I thought I’d give them a try. They source their beans through fair trade practices and have relationships with the locals in the countries where they operate.”

It was so weird to have Gilbert talking to me like we were old friends, like we were still dancing our way toward a relationship and years of resentment hadn’t come between us. I wasn’t usually such a blob when it came to conversations, but my brain was so off kilter that I couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say. All I could manage is, “Fair trade is good.”

“We’ve always been concerned about ethical dealings here at Common Grounds,” he said, stepping out from behind the counter to hand me the mug. He’d put a touch of cream and a pinch of sugar in it, just the way I liked it. How he remembered that from college was…it was incredibly sexy, actually.

I sipped the coffee, then hummed in surprised appreciation and nodded. “That is good.”

“Right?” Gilbert smiled at me.

Fuck, his smile was as endearing as Marco’s. Maybe even more so since it’d been a rare sight for these past few months. All the same, I wasn’t sure I trusted it. There was no way years of bad blood could be washed away by one quickie that was interrupted before we could talk about it.

Worse still, despite having a small line of customers, Chase and Emily were watching us with grins they failed to hide.

I took another sip of coffee, surprised for the second time in as many minutes that it was so good. “I’m going to miss this place,” I said, then took another sip.

Gilbert’s friendly expression fell. “You’re going,” he said, almost like it was a question. Almost like he was begging me not to. But that wasn’t right at all. Gilbert Meyers didn’t beg. He especially didn’t beg for someone like me to stick around.