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It was a surveillance notification. Usually, I would ignore it, but something—sixth sense maybe—had me opening the app.
TWENTY-ONE
SIENNA
Tyran had been gone since yesterday.
It really hadn’t been that long, and I didn’t miss him. Ignoring his request to stop working, I logged into my laptop and lost myself in tasks. Then I played a game on my phone, and when it was time for bed, I even resisted alcohol and sleeping pills.
I came to regret that.
Nightmares had come knocking, and I spent today plagued by the vivid images from last night. I woke up more tired than when I went to bed. It made it impossible to be productive today. My mind seemed to be on a constant loop, and not even my regular Magic Sort app game could shut it off.
I paced the bedroom until my legs ached, my stuff scattered everywhere. I hadn’t bothered to clean up the mess I’d made.
The room felt suffocating, the silence too loud, and that restless itch beneath my skin only seemed to grow with every passing minute. I left the bedroom and wandered through the castle, letting my feet carry me from one corridor to another, desperately trying to outrun the clawing I felt inside me.
I told myself I was exploring the castle, but I knew better. I was avoiding things I didn’t want to remember.
The rattle of a door in the darkness.
Screams.
A hand over my mouth.
More screams, muffled and desperate, that nobody heard.
I couldn’t avoid memories anymore—not without my vices—even though I tried. They bled out of me, flooding every cell of my body and drowning me from the inside.
I paced and paced, my feet restless and my hands twitching.
I found myself standing in the living room where I knew one of my vices was.
My gaze drifted to the minibar tucked against the wall, its shelves lined with an obscene selection of top-shelf bottles. I stared at them for a moment before reaching for the fullest one, pouring myself a drink. I swallowed it in one go.
The burn down my throat was comforting. So I poured another. And another. I just kept drinking, chasing the warmth as it spread through my chest, hoping it would drown out the noise in my head or at least make it quiet enough for me to breathe.
Finally, my shoulders had loosened, and I felt myself relaxing.
I didn’t use to be like this, but now my past haunted my soul and no vice could permanently erase it. So, I went with temporary avoidance.
I couldn’t fight it today. Instead, I embraced it.
I made my way back through the castle, wandering the corridors without really seeing them. My feet carried me higher and higher until I found myself standing at the entrance to the castle’s highest tower.
Stepping outside, the wind swept through my hair and the cold air touched my face. I was still wearing Tyran’s dress shirt, and the wind tugged at it as if it wanted to send me tumbling from its heights.
The tower was nothing but gray stone and ancient silence. Narrow windows punctured the walls, deep enough to serve as makeshift seats, though there was nothing between them and the dizzying drop beyond. From up here, the world looked impossibly distant.
Beautiful, even.
I moved toward one of the windows and sat on the stone sill, drawing my knees closer as I stared out at the view.
Everything stretched beneath me—the endless landscape, the distant lights, the winding roads disappearing into the distance. From this height, everything looked so small. So insignificant.
Including me.
I let out a quiet breath, watching it disappear into the cold air.