Page 81 of All the way home

A sheet of glass with a hole punched through it.

That’s how Rena feels.

Scattered shards litter everything she touches. Her heartbeat rattles in her bones.

Every time Rena’s fought with Kieran, she’s been able to see it coming for days on end, sprinting straight at her over the horizon.

It’s different with Lucas.

When Rena had woken this morning, she’d had no idea a fight was coming. Even when she’d met up with Lucas at their usual spot outside the gymnasium, she’d kissed him good morning just like every day, none the wiser.

At least the run had been normal. Side by side, headphones in. They used to talk while they trained, but Lucas doesn’t have any other regular time to listen to his podcasts, and Rena likes having the steady rhythm of music anyway to lull her brain into forgetting that most of her body feels like it’s on fire, so now they don’t bother with talking.

Afterward, though.

After the run, when they were stretching, Lucas wore a frown. Not his problem frown, which usually went away as soon as he’d found an answer to whatever had him so perplexed. Not his annoyance frown either, because that one pinches his forehead and lives in his eyebrows.

This was his most serious frown, set in the curve of his mouth. Eyes unsmiling. Heavy in a way that crawled up her spine like a shiver.

Out of breath, Rena yanked an earbud. “What?”

“Harper and Derek moved in together,” he told her, a little too offhandedly for how hard he was breathing. “Did you see?”

Rena straightened her leg, bent into a stretch, and said, “No, I didn’t.”

He tilted his screen to show her, but even if he hadn’t, Rena would have been able to conjure the image in her head: Harper in a very Harper pose—one foot lifted off the ground, leaning against her boyfriend, Derek, with arms wrapped around him—standing in front of an actual picket fence. Behind them, the house boasted a wraparound porch, snowcapped gables, and a double front door with two wreaths placed over the arching windows.

“I’m so happy for her,” she said, pausing for effect, “parents. I’m sure they will be very happy with Derek’s parents.”

Lucas cracked a tiny smile at the joke.

“Come on.” Rena pulled herself out of the stretch and stood, eyeing her watch. “We don’t have much time to finish packing.”

When she took a step away, Lucas didn’t follow. He held his phone up, still displaying Harper’s picture. “Is this ever going to be us?”

“God, I hope not,” Rena said.

He flinched, as though she’d jumped at him from around a corner.

“What?” Her heart plummeted as she tried to make sense of his hurt. “You know I don’t like posting on Instagram, but if you really want—”

“I don’t care about Instagram.” Lucas rubbed at his nose, which meant he was lying, but that was evidently a discussion for another time, because hotly, he added, “That’s not what I meant.”

She lifted her eyebrows.

And Lucas just stared at the floor.

“Sorry, what are you asking me, exactly?”

For nearly ten seconds, Lucas was silent, eyes downcast. Then he said, “I don’t want to live alone next year.”

She opened her mouth, but he wasn’t done.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot, actually.” He grew more and more confident with each word. Slowly, he unfolded and stood, crossing his arms. “I mean, we’ve been together for ages, and Josh and Trevor are moving in with their girlfriends, so I won’t have them for roommates next year. And I—and I want to live with you. It just makes sense, doesn’t it?”

She frowned. “But I have a deal with Kieran.”

“I know, just—”