Page 20 of Toren

“It’s…not what you’re envisioning,” he argued.

Donovan didn’t say anything, clearly waiting for Toren to explain, so he did. He told his friend about the polyamory and the history between Andrew and his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. He told Donovan everything and when he finished speaking, he felt lighter than he had in years.

“Say something,” Toren muttered. “Don’t tell me this is a mistake.”

“You wouldn’t be the first relationship to start on rocky ground, but you know they take more work.”

It was as much of a blessing as he’d expected. “Do you think I’m crazy for this?”

“Depends on if he actually goes through with it and dumps the guy before the weekend,” Donovan said.

“Is it crazy that I might not care if he does? I know it’s bad, but…it’s really hot.”

“You’re chasing a thrill,” Donovan drawled. “Find another way to kick in the adrenaline. Go fuck in an alley or something. A restaurant bathroom.”

“That doesn’t sound the same at all.”

“It’s exactly the same. It’s something you’re not supposed to be doing with a very real chance of being caught. You’re not playing the part of another man because you’re getting off on ruining another relationship⁠—”

“They’re breaking up,” he interrupted.

Donovan went on, unbothered. “You’re playing the role of another man because it’s exhilarating. Find another game to role-play if you want. Hell, role-play cheating if it does the same thing for you, but do not let him keep this other man around through the weekend.”

Toren felt scolded, but in the gentle and nurturing kind of way Donovan always managed to invoke when sharing hard truths.

“Alright,” he agreed.

“Tell me, then. What do you like about this man so much that you’ve put yourself into this position?”

Toren didn’t even have to think of an answer. He knew it as well as he knew his own name. “I like the way he likes me.”

“Toren.”

“He doesn’t complain that I smoke⁠—”

“That’s my job, anyway,” Donovan teased, and just like Donovan had done to him, Toren ignored the interjection and kept speaking.

“He’s really tactile. He’s…the way he…God, I can’t do this without getting too descriptive.”

Donovan laughed, a low rumble. “Fair enough. Were you just calling to get my blessing on this unorthodox relationship, or did you need something else this early on a Monday?”

“I didn’t need your blessing.”

“You wanted to be told you weren’t wrong. There’s no harm in asking for reassurance if you need it, but maybe ask why you needed it in the first place.”

“Alright, Sensei.” Toren rolled his eyes. “Yes, partially that, but I did just want to tell you about him. I wanted to talk about him.”

“Andrew Calavert,” Donovan repeated, almost to himself.

“Did you already look him up?”

“He has a profile on One Night Stand.”

“Until yesterday, he was in an open relationship,” Toren reminded.

“Until he breaks it off with that other man, he still is.”

That was a little bit of a cold-water dump on his head, and Toren took the call-out for what it was.