Page 76 of Dark Notes, Volume Two

“The only way out is through. We can get out of this, but we have to walk through it. I’m begging you to not give up on me. On us.”

Mia moves closer and takes my hands and wraps hers around mine.

“I don’t know how, Jett. It doesn’t make sense to you I’m sure, but I’m angry at you. At her. I don’t know how to let it go.”

She opens her mouth to speak again but shuts it quickly.

“What? Speak your mind, Angel.”

Blowing out a long breath she says, “I need pain to get through this, Jett and I don’t know if that’s going to break things between us even more than they already are.”

The idea of hurting her physically when she’s been through so much emotionally because of me doesn’t sit right with me. It feels wrong but I do know when things get heavy this is what she needs to process shit. I need to take care of her and give her whatever it is that makes it so she can heal. But we need ground rules.

“We need a real safe word. Something you’ll say if you need me to stop and I’ll stop immediately.”

“Samantha,” she says quickly and I shake my head no.

“Anything else. That name makes my fucking skin crawl.”

Mia crosses her arms over her chest and tilts her head at me with an arched brow.

“Then I think that’s the perfect word to make you stop. For me it’s the most jarring word in the English language, and I think it should be for you too.”

13

Chapter Fifty-Three

MIA

I don’t know what’s wrong with me that this is what I crave when the emotions overwhelm me to the point of breaking me. It shouldn’t be.

“I’m sick to even need this.” I admit out loud.

Jett wraps his hand around my chin and tilts my head back, forcing my gaze to his.

“No, Angel. Using pain as an outlet is not sick. If this is how you handle emotions there’s nothing wrong with it as long as you know you’re safe. No matter what has happened, you know I’d never hurt you and that if you tell me to stop, I will. Safe word or not.”

He sighs audibly.

“Just please use the damn safe word if you need me to stop, okay? I’m fucking terrified you won’t and then I don’t know what happens.”

I nod as I climb off the bed.

“I promise, I will use it if I need it.”

Jett pulls his black t-shirt off and drops it onto the end table beside my bed.

“I’m keeping my pants on because I’m not planning to fuck you. We only do what you’re comfortable with. This is not about me but only what you need.”

I pull the sweatshirt over my head and remove one arm at a time before placing it in my laundry hamper by the closet. I’m nervous about getting undressed in front of Jett, since it’s been so long. I take a deep breath and remove my pants and hear him groan.

“Fuck.”

I don’t turn to him but hear him removing his belt as I remove my bra and panties.

Walking over to the bed, I lean over it, and turn my head to the side so I can breathe.

He runs his thumb down the middle of my back and a shiver runs down my spine.