Page 70 of Dark Notes, Volume Two

My angel, my breath, my life, my addiction.” Jett sings and I feel the tears fall. With his words, I believe him. Everything is going to be okay.

McKinley shouts in my ear as the song ends.

“I better be your matron of honor.”

I laugh both because nobody has said a word about marriage, and I literally have no one else for her to compete with for the title. Kins and Jett are the only people in the world that see me for who I am, not who I used to be. And suddenly, I’m okay with that. It’s not quantity, it's the quality of people in your life.

31

Chapter Forty-Eight

MIA

After the band left the stage, McKinley and I went in search of our guys. Once she disappears into Jagger’s dressing room, a security guard approaches and asks me to give Jett fifteen minutes to shower because he ‘doesn’t want me to see him all sweaty.’ It’s a little strange given I’ve seen him many times with sweat on his skin, but I don’t argue because what could I say? I’d sound like a possessive bitch if I demanded to see him. I wait outside the door until I hear a noise that sounds like my worst nightmares coming true, or at least one of them.

Taking a deep breath, I put my hand on the doorknob and turn it. Pushing it open, I stare at Jett with that fucking bitch, Samantha, on top of him, his dick inside her. She stares down at him with a smile on her face.

“Tell me you love me, baby.”

“I love you, Angel.” He says, digging the knife further into my chest. Samantha glances at me with a wide grin. She wanted me to see this, for this moment to be the final nail in the coffin that is our relationship. It is. There’s no coming back from this.

I angrily wipe the tears from my cheeks, as Jett opens his eyes, and follows the direction of Samantha’s.

He’s stoned. I can see it in his red gaze. It doesn’t matter. That we could work through with rehab, but this we can’t. He isn’t just fucking her, he loves her and calls her ‘Angel.’ I turn around and walk away from him. Jett doesn’t come after me, he keeps doing exactly what he was doing when I opened the door.

I am a fool.

The words he sang meant nothing, maybe they were written for her. Hell, maybe every woman he fucks, he calls Angel. I’ve never felt more dirty in my life.

Dirty and used.

I walk out the backstage exit and know I have to hold it together until I get the hell out of here. The last thing I need is the media coverage.

I hail a cab and slide into the backseat.

“Take me to a mid level hotel. One that’s likely to have rooms available.”

The middle aged man looks in his mirror and says, “Holy shit, you’re-”

I cut him off, “I am nobody. Always have been. If you have any doubts about that I have a three hundred dollar tip that will convince you otherwise.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says as he peels away from the curb.

We are near downtown so I look out at all the lights on the tall buildings. This city has changed a lot since the first time I was here when I was in my late teens. I came here for a modeling job, one of my very first ones when I was seventeen. It’s not lost on me that not only has the city changed, so have I.

As hard as I try, I cannot get the image of him fucking her out of my mind. I try to focus on what’s going on in the world outside the taxi window but I can’t. He said he loved her. My chest squeezes with pain as the bile rises in my throat.

How could he do this to me?

I gave him every piece of me, told him things I have never told anyone because I trusted him blindly, like a fool. What pisses me off the most is knowing that if he’s with her, he’ll continue using drugs. I desperately want to not care, but I do… I love him.

We pull up to a hotel, three-star at best, and I hand my driver his promised cash. Getting out of the car, I walk into the hotel hoping they have a room.

“Do you have any rooms available for tonight?” I ask the young man in front of me. He looks like a rocker himself with an eyebrow and lip piercing.

“A few. What size bed do you need?”

I sigh, because it doesn’t matter. I doubt I’ll be able to sleep anyway.