Page 43 of Dark Notes, Volume Two

I nod because I’d probably do anything this woman tells me to do.

“I’m going to get clean.”

I repeat her words, “I’m going to get clean.”

“For myself, because I deserve good things. I am worth fighting for.”

Again, I repeat what she says even though it feels forced on my tongue.

“For myself, because I deserve good things. I am worth fighting for.”

She gets up off the bed, and my heart sinks as I feel like I’ve lost my lifeline, but she moves to the head of the bed, leans down and speaks softly.

“Keep saying that every day, Jett. Keep saying it and eventually you’ll believe it. In the meantime, know this. I believe in you.”

Mia brushes her lips over mine and kisses me softly.

“I believe in you, Jett. If you want to get clean, I believe you will.”

16

Chapter Twenty-Five

JETT

Walking into Lighthouse may have been the single most terrifying moment of my adult life. It was like being under a microscope. Many of the patients here are the same people I’ve partied with through the years. All of their expressions registered surprise at my being here without a court order.

I made a whopping six hours before the craving got so intense I considered leaving. I’m here on my own free will, so that means I could leave at any time and I think that only makes it worse. I’m doing this for myself, not for her or anybody else, but I’d be a liar if I said she wasn’t a factor. Her and the band. The two things in my life that I feel the loss of.

I was fourteen when Jagger and I started The Dark Notes. Although, back then we called ourselves The Kings. What the hell we were the kings of, I don’t know. We were just stupid kids having fun until Hendrix and Jake came into the mix. Once the four of us were together, we knew we actually had something. Jagger and I came from very different backgrounds. His parents were the way parents are supposed to be. His mom loved the hell out of him and it showed. Where I was in and out of foster care until my mom got me back. Even though he never made me feel like I was the fucked up kid, I know I was.

Lighthouse is a rehab for celebrities so I assume the rooms are bigger than a ‘normal’ rehab, but somehow it’s still too small. Suddenly it’s hard to catch a full breath as the feeling of the walls closing in on me becomes intense. I pull on the collar of my shirt as I say out loud in nearly a chant.

“You don’t fucking need it. It’s all in your head.”

I’m pacing back and forth like a caged animal when I spot a man standing in my open doorway watching me.

He stares at me, his brown eyes watching me appraisingly.

“Mr. Black, I’m Geoff and I’ll be your counselor while you’re here. Would you like to take a walk with me? We have beautiful grounds and getting outside might be what you need right now.” He asks in a calm voice that’s likely for my benefit.

I nod and walk over to him before raising an eyebrow as I spot his nametag.

“G-e-o-f-f. I don’t trust people with weird fucking spellings of normal names.”

He chuckles softly, “Hey, now. Don’t blame me. I did not name myself.”

Geoff appears to be in his early thirties with short dark hair and a matching beard. I wonder if the khakis and cream-colored shirt is a uniform since I’ve seen several people wearing the same thing.

We step outside and the soft breeze washes over me. I take in the scent of fresh air mixed with the hint of evergreen pine and sweet floral. There’s a long, winding cement pathway that appears to go on for miles, with benches every so often and so much grass. He points somewhere in the distance, “There are horses down that way. We have animal therapy. It’s not part of your treatment plan, but you’re welcome to partake if you’re interested.”

It’s quiet out here, and there aren’t any other people around that I can see. It’s nice. Trees surround us on either side. The lack of noise beside the chirping birds is a welcome reprieve from my normally loud life.

“You can come out here as often as you’d like to.”

We walk in silence around the path before he nods to the bench and I take a seat.

“I’ve been told you aren’t interested in methadone treatment.”