Page 42 of Dark Notes, Volume Two

”Before you overdosed.” She says quietly.

“No.” I answer, quickly, “I did not. I told her to get out. Jake was there if you don’t believe me.”

She closes her fingers around mine, and it feels like the first real breath I’ve taken.

“You’re an asshole, Jett Black.”

I chuckle softly before I admit it, “Yes, I am. I’m your asshole if you’ll have me.”

She’s stunning sitting on my bed, wearing a Dark Notes t-shirt, and cute little jeans. Her hair is styled just the way I like it, hanging down past her shoulders in blonde waves.

Shaking her head no she says, “If you don’t go to rehab, we’re done, Jett. I know you can’t do it for me, but I can’t be part of this life. I think I deserve better than waiting for you to die. The last three days were torture, and I won’t go through this again.”

I can’t help but smile because Mia standing up for herself is a beautiful thing.

“Good. It’s about time you see your fucking worth, Angel. I’ll go to rehab. For you and for me. I know I need to fight my demons so I can be whole. I want you to need and trust every part of me. ”

Tears immediately spring to her eyes and I wish I could kiss them away, but I’m immobile, so all I can do is watch her cry. Although I do question it because it’s confusing.

“Why are you crying?”

She laughs a humorless laugh and says, “You’re infuriating Jett. You really have no idea what this has done to the people that love you, do you? I’m crying from relief because I don’t want you to keep doing this to yourself. I don’t want to wonder everyday if that’s the day I’ll lose the chance to ever speak to you again.”

Of course she isn’t wrong, I am an asshole so I take what I wanted to hear from what she just said.

“The people that love me? Do you love me, Angel?”

Mia feigns a glare before shaking her head.

“Yes, I love you, but if you don’t get healthy it won’t matter.”

I hate to tell her, I’ll probably never be a completely transformed man. I’ll always be an asshole, just a clean one, I hope.

“I’m so happy you’re going to get sober.”

I take a deep breath before I admit how terrified I am.

“I’ll try, Angel. I cannot guarantee anything. My heart wants this, but my head is a fucked up mess. I’m fucking scared.”

She turns sideways on the bed and gazes at me with concern.

“Why are you scared?”

Swallowing hard, I say, “I’m scared I won’t be able to do this and I’ll let everyone down. Most of all, myself. I know I’ll lose you if I can’t. And fuck, Angel, I can’t even explain to you how terrifying that is to me. I’m afraid this is all I can be in this life. A fucking useless junkie.”

Mia places her hand over mine, it’s both warm and comforting. I wish I could hold onto this moment and never let go.

“You’re already more than that, Jett. Yes, you have a drug problem, but you’re so much more than that. You have a big heart with so much love to give and let’s not forget, you’re a brilliant musician. How many instruments do you even play?”

I’m not sure if that’s a trick question, but I can play anything. There’s never been something I haven’t been able to figure out. Even while high.

“They are going to be back soon, and I need to tell you something very important.”

“What?” I ask.

She smiles softly at me.

“Repeat after me.”