Page 45 of The Rancher’s One and Only

“There’s nothing wrong with your teeth,” he said, setting her away from him, his gaze boring into hers. “I’m not… I’m not upset because you asked. I’m upset because I want to say yes.”

“Why is that a bad thing?” Her eyes felt overly damp and she was afraid she might cry.

“You are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met my life. You seem genuinely unfucked by this world, and I don’t want to be part of hurting you.”

She shook her head. “You’re not going to hurt me. I know what I’m asking for. I want this. I want… Just while I’m here, I want you to show me what it’s like, because I am very curious. I’ve done a lot of research. I mean, I read a lot of… I read a lot of books that are very descriptive.”

“Do you now?”

“Yes. I do. I want to know more about it. I don’t want to experiment with some guy I work with at the museum, because that would get awkward, and it could get problematic, because even if I’m not technically their superior, I do have a certain amount of prestige at the museum, which makes everything difficult. Right?”

Breathe. Blink. Try not to look so intense.

“I wouldn’t know about the dynamics of the museum.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. But just trust me, there are dynamics. And I want… I want you,” she said, finishing very small-ly. “Because you’re attractive. And I get that a lot of women must think that. They all must come on to you.”

“Not all of them. But yes, a lot.”

“But you are so different than me, and you can keep saying that we’re the same, but there’s something about you. It’s the dragon energy.”

“Dragon energy?”

“Yes. Dragon energy. I have rodent energy, and it is simply not as majestic. It’s not as wild. Not as magnetic.”

He gripped her chin. And then he moved his thumb up to the center of her lips and pressed down hard. “Stop talking. You are wrong. You’re compelling. You’re interesting. Fascinating. Why do you think I’ve spent so much time with you since you came here? I have other things to do, you know, but I can’t seem to stay away from you. And I don’t know if it’s because…you’re different. Genuinely different from anybody I’ve ever known. If it’s a novelty thing… If I’m so basic that actually I’m just really interested in taking your virginity, because that is not my usual thing, and I will say there’s something…fascinating about it. I can’t help it. I’m curious about what it would be like. To be the one to teach you. But for that reason, I think it shouldn’t be me.”

She frowned, not fully understanding what he was saying. “You think some guy who’s not interested in it should be the one to do it?”

“I don’t know. I think maybe there’s something kind of not noble about the way I feel about it.”

“I’m not asking for your nobility. I’m asking for your sexual prowess. I thought that was clear.”

“Nothing about this is clear.”

That made her want to howl, because she was being very logical and unambiguous and so often other people were looking for hidden meanings and she just didn’t have any.

“Well, I think it can be clear. I don’t want anything more than this. I like you. But I’m not yearning for a traditional relationship. And anyway, you and I couldn’t have one even if I wanted to. I have to go back to the museum, and you live here. Neither of us are ever going to leave our professional lives behind because of something like this. Right?”

“I wouldn’t think so.”

“No. I wouldn’t think so. Exactly. And so, being rational, we actually both want the same thing.”

“And what is that exactly?”

“Sex,” she said, looking at him, her breathing coming in sharp, sporadic bursts. “Right? We both want sex.”

He looked pained. Nearly tortured. She wasn’t exactly sure how to interpret that.

“I know we haven’t known each other very long.”

“That’s not really a barrier for me,” he said.

“What is?”

“I swear to God, if you ask me if it’s your teeth…”

“It crossed my mind.”