Page 94 of Tempting My Mafia Monster

“Was she… Did she treat you well? Your…” I couldn’t say mother. It felt like an insult to our mam, who’d given birth to her and died for her. But Riley was so young when it all happened. That she could see another woman as her mother had to mean she felt some kind of affection for her.

Riley smiled. “She did. She was a single mother. She couldn’t have children of her own. She had a previous abusive partner, so she had a lot of anxiety and self-doubt, but she was kind. She worked two jobs just to give me everything she could. She loved me and raised me well. I feel bad that she thinks I’m missing, but I’ll reach out when it’s safer. It was just the two of us for a long time, but I moved out when I turned nineteen. I wanted independence, you know?”

I didn’t know.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, realising what she’d said. “Connor found me after seeing what happened to Roisin on the news. That sent me into a spiral. I struggled a lot with her death. As a twin, even though we were separated, I never truly felt alone until I knew she was gone. When Connor told me he was planning to go to Sean and do anything to free you, I wanted to help, but he made me swear I’d stay out of it. We stayed in contact while he was in Italy. I really believed he’d free you.”

I looked out the window, trying to contain my rage and guilt. Sean sent Connor on a suicide mission.

A bird landed on the branch of the tree outside, letting out a soft tune. It hopped closer to the window, curiously bobbing its head. I had no idea what kind of bird it was. There was so much I didn’t know about life outside Sean’s shackles. I’d only just learned to cook my food in the last few days with Riley’s help. I’d left the flat once, walking with both her and Nolan to the corner shop. Just being outside, without a leash or handcuffs, walking down a street with people going about their day, was overwhelming. I managed two minutes in the shop, staring at the rows of items I’d once had to kill to even dream of owning. Then I raced out of there with my fists clenched, ready to hurt someone, because the bell on the door and a screaming toddler triggered me.

Riley and Nolan were talking about boarding a public plane and flying to Mexico now that I was strong enough. How was I supposed to survive that without impulsively ripping someone’s head off? I was a danger to society. I shouldn’t be free to roam the streets.

“It’s a Great Tit.”

My head snapped to Riley, and she chuckled at my expression.

“The breed of that bird.”

“A Great Tit?”

“Yes,” she laughed, and then she couldn’t stop. A smile twitched at the corner of my lips at her amusement. I enjoyed seeing her laugh.

“Looks like I’ve found my favourite animal.”

She laughed harder. “Glad to see Sean didn’t take that sense of humour from you, Perv.”

The sound of the front door closing had us both looking towards the corridor before Nolan appeared, a black rucksack slung over his shoulder. The baseball hat hid his identity in case any of McKenna’s men were still here searching for him, but it also concealed the black eyes and bruising on his face. A gift from me.

It had been just over a week since the fight and five days since I’d woken to find the last few months erased from my mind. But hearing that Nolan and Riley were an ‘item’, as she put it, had pushed me over the edge. He was lucky to still be breathing. Riley’s affection for him was the only reason he was.

“Did you get them?” Riley said, sprinting over and kissing him. I glanced away, focusing on breathing. I had to do a lot of that.

“Yeah.” He opened the bag and threw three passports and some forged documents onto the table.

Apparently, they’d already planned this part, and Nolan just had to meet his contact to get them. Whatever strings Nolan had pulled, or favours he’d called in, I didn’t ask. He was doing what he could to keep my sister safe and get her as far away from Sean and Ireland as possible. That… I could respect.

Riley squealed with excitement, jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck. “We’re really doing this! Starting a new life together. The three of us!”

Nolan chuckled, swept up in her happiness, but then glanced at me. I clicked my tongue and looked away. He lowered her back to the floor, took off his cap, and ruffled his hair.

“I got these for you.” He pulled out a box and set it on the table. I stared at the noise-cancelling headphones, a bitter taste in my mouth. “Thought they might help,” he said awkwardly. “At the airport and on the plane—“

I grabbed the journal Riley had given me to jot down anything that might help trigger my memories, then stormed past them both. I needed some air. I needed to be alone. I loved my sister, but I hadn’t spent this much time in someone’s company since I was a child.

No, apparently that wasn’t true, was it? I’d spent six weeks locked in a bunker with a woman I had no memory of. I paused at the front door, hearing a man shouting in French in the lobby. I spun back around, grabbed the box off the table, avoided their eyes, and stepped outside.

With my hood pulled up, hiding the nasty stitches at the back of my head, I marched down the road, staring at the pavement until I found a secluded bench under a tree. I sat down, ripped open the box and pulled out the headphones, my hands already shaking.

The moment the silence wrapped around me like a protective blanket, I exhaled a shaky breath. I closed my eyes, breathed in the heated air, and relaxed back with the sun on my face. Free. To do as I pleased. To go where I wanted. It was an impossible concept to get my head around. I was still waiting for reality to come crashing down around me, for it all to go wrong. Because it would. It had to.

I opened the journal to my most recent scribblings. Most of the dreams I’d been having were from childhood. Things I hadn’t allowed myself to think about for years. Others were harder to stomach. Memories of what McKenna had put me through. The punishments. The tortures. Drugging me into hallucinating while playing loud music, and the footage of the night he killed my parents. Putting me back in the well with my father’s bones while I was so high I’d see things that weren’t there. How I’d claw at my skin, trying to get the imaginary maggots that had eaten away at Da’s corpse off me.

I had a few more recent memories surface, but none from the last two months. Losing that time felt as raw and painful as if a part of myself had been severed and would never heal. I could feel its magnitude but had no idea what it was. Nolan had tried to tell me what had happened, but it triggered nothing. It felt as though he were talking about someone else.

Turning to the back page, I stared at the list of names I needed to wipe off the planet before I could ever feel any kind of peace.

Sean McKenna sat at the top in capital letters. Oscar beneath him, followed by a few of McKenna’s highest-ranking soldiers. Then came Santino Buccini. Giovanni Buccini. Alessio Barbieri. All names that had contributed to my family’s downfall.