Page 11 of Throne of the Wolf Queen

‘I’m about to take a light supper with Oskar.’ She reached for me, but instinctively, I curled my fingers, tucked them away. ‘We’d love it if you’d join us.’

Gods, supper with the sour-faced brat was not what I needed right now. I’d rather gouge out my own eyes than willingly sit in a room with that child. And what if Enfys wanted to finally talk about Mama? What if she learnt her sister was still a catastrophic liability?

‘I didn’t get much sleep last night,’ I said, and even in the darkness I saw the flicker of disappointment sweep through her blue eyes. ‘I really need to catch up.’

‘Of course,’ she said. ‘I’ll be in Papa’s old chambers if you change your mind.’

That would have been handy to know last night I thought as my sister turned away, both of us knowing I had no intention of accepting her invitation.

Gripping the wolf, I turned towards the corridors where my own chambers lay, already dreading the memories lurking there. Asher fell into step with us.

‘You’re pushing everyone away – again.’

I shook my head. I’d no desire to examine my mountain of burdens. Think of all I’d lost just as we’d discovered each other again.

‘I’m hurting too, but I talk to Skye; she’s lost her brother. Both her brothers. Enfys has lost her father. You’ve lost Matthias. Shit, Sorrow. You’ve lost Glesni.’

‘And a huge amount of sleep after last night. So, Captain⁠—’

He held me in place and I glared at him.

‘What I’m trying to say, and badly by the way you look like you’re about to cry, is that we need to support each other. Enfys is strong, kind. You should give her a chance.’

I crossed my arms. If he knew what I’d done to Enfys as a child? How she’d turn away the moment she learnt the truth about the curses writhing in my veins.

‘We need to stand together. We can be so much stronger, Sorrow. We’re living under the same roof as Romero’s supporters. The ones who would still rip your throne from under you. Those from The Alliance who grinned as they stabbed you and Matthias in the back. And we’re begging them to help us.’

I pursed my lips, and Asher threw his arms in the air. Clutching Pablo, I descended the deep steps across the keep.

‘I know when I’ve lost, my queen,’ he called after me. ‘If you don’t want to sit with your sister, I’ll be in Skye’s rooms, getting drunk. We’ve found a portrait of Danté we’re about to deface.’

A weak smile flickered across my face. If I weren’t so fucking empty inside, I may have been tempted to join them.

‘Please think on it, my queen, please.’

Queen? Of what? I snorted. ‘I’ve no crown. No throne. We’ve lost Asmar,’ I called back, crossing the great hall, desperate for the solitude of my rooms. ‘So, please, Asher, do not call me your queen.’

My steps echoed for a few moments before Asher spoke. ‘You’ll forever be my queen,’ he said. ‘Forever.’

I didn’t turn back.

CHAPTER 6

SORROW

I’ll be honest. Nothing terrified me more than when I learnt two gifts lurked within. Balance is a brutal knife-edge. My mentor, Evella, bless her soul, discovered another Deviant to aid me. Without them, my gifts would warp and decay. An incendiary amidst a tempest. I fear the failure to locate proficient mentors may be the reason Deviants are so rare.

​— ​MRS GLESNI GRACE’S ADVICE FOR MENTORS: THIRD EDITION

Bronzehold was home to a library containing a smattering of books, whose sparseness had been the bane of my existence growing up, but desperation turned my wretched footsteps towards it. The Thornes of the past were content to lock knowledge away in their library, far, far from the keep. I still hoped I’d discover a book with an all-elusive chapter about balancing Evella’s gifts. I thought after I’d successfully called the violet threads on Glesni, on every corpse littering my husband’s beach, that balance was mine. That I, the mighty wolf queen, had mastered the evasive balance without the direction of a mentor. My eyes closed against the sting. My damned arrogance had convinced me I’d be more than I was. That I’d achieve the impossible. But what was I? A Deviant at the mercy of her blessing? A queen without a crown? A wife without her…

My gifts, as stubborn as the wolf at my side, still mastered me. It was imperative we sort out this pile of shit we’d landed in. But my heart and soul were cracked from having to leave the man I loved behind. Without Matthias, my spirit seeped from me in an endless trickle. He alone possessed the ability to staunch the flow.

I wasn’t sure I’d ever be enough to control my twin blessings. Shivers prickled down my spine as I recalled the beach, the purple threads slithering into Glesni, wearing her skin like a satin gown. Had the old woman somehow aided me when I needed her the most? Had the fractured remains of her essence clung to her bloodied form long enough to end Romero? Was my fleeting success down to someone else?

I’d staved off the effects of the blight. I’d survived so much longer than anyone could have ever imagined. Perhaps I could find instructions on balancing the threads in the library? I may not need a mentor at all. I tugged Pablo’s fur and turned on my heel, ignoring his snort of frustration.

The harsh light was splintered by the large leaded windows. The majority of tomes lay within the main library, another reason why I’d been so keen to leave the keep. I ran my fingers through the thick dust on the rickety shelves, past the huge gaps where The Chronicles of the forgotten Gods had once rested. After the last faith war, The Alliance argued that we should only pray to Evella and fear Vyrus, so they’d removed The Chronicles of those Gods Vyrus created and cast them into the flames. I suspected the Sisters and Brotherhood had played a significant role in ensuring their Gods were favoured.