Page 10 of Throne of the Wolf Queen

I wanted a bath, my chambers. Blessed silence. I could trace these corridors like the lines criss-crossing my palms. There was nothing else for it. I’d just have to make my own way there and pray to Evella there were no more assassins lurking in the shadows. I tugged faintly on the silver threads, blowing out a long breath as they twined round my intent.

Despite knowing the layout of the keep, I trailed my fingers along the walls. The guards in their scarlet uniforms approached and my chest tightened as they walked past. Was there anyone I could trust here? The familiar padding of heavy paws sent a small sliver of comfort into my chest. My relief evaporated as Pablo dropped a brown rat at my feet with a sickening thud. Its back leg gave a final, pitiful twitch before stilling.

‘Damn dog,’ I muttered. ‘Why would you bring me a dead rat? As if this day couldn’t get any worse and you bring me your lunch⁠—’

Hissing, I clutched my chest as the still uncomfortable sensation of violet awoke within. Pablo whined and pushed the dead creature towards me with his snout. The threads slithered through my chest, anticipation sparking a tempest in my veins. I glared at the wolf. Then sighed. I needed to balance, needed to practice. At least a rodent corpse wouldn’t set the keep on fire.

I hoped.

‘Fine,’ I hissed through gritted teeth, unfurling the thick ribbons and forcing them towards the rat. My chest opened and I heaved in a deep breath. The rat twitched once more, its eyes flickering open. I knelt, keeping my hazy gaze focused on the little rodent.

It leapt forward, its sharp incisors locking onto Pablo’s snout. He yelped and I reached forward to snatch the vermin away. The wolf slammed it against the dark stone of the wall, as I wrestled the reluctant threads back and the rat slipped to the floor.

‘Eugh.’

I jumped at the cry behind me, meeting the confused glare of Asher. My shoulders slumped at the thought he’d followed me. I rubbed Pablo’s snout. ‘I’m unsure why you’re still walking these halls alone, Sorrow.’ He peered at the rat. ‘That was…’

‘Fucking unnerving?’ I finished.

‘I was thinking of incredible, but yeah, we’ll stick with unnerving.’ He offered me his hand. I shook my head, instead clutching the still-trembling wolf. Poor Pab. It didn’t matter what I did. This side of me seemed intent on misery and disaster. I couldn’t do this on my own – not without Glesni. A mentor.

Asher fell into step. ‘How do you plan to train, then?’

‘From the sounds coming out of the throne room, I imagine I’ll be spoilt for corpses soon,’ I joked. ‘Hopefully they won’t all turn and attack those I love.’

Asher snorted. ‘Never thought I’d feel sorry for the wolf.’

I ran my fingers through his still-bristling fur. Part of me wanted to tell Asher about the sparrow, about Mama, but instead, I sniffed.

‘Is there a reason you’re walking without a guard, again?’

I pretended I couldn’t hear his exasperated huff as I continued on, my gaze resolutely ahead.

‘Sorrow?’

‘I’d forgotten how cold this damn place gets.’ We arrived at the top of the wide stone steps leading to the great hall. Tears prickled at the back of my eyes. Images of Matthias and I leaping to the cobbles, tearing away with our hands entwined.

Asher gently pulled on my elbow until I faced him.

‘I’d like to get to my rooms, Captain.’ I tugged my arm, but Asher held firm.

‘Sorrow…’

‘It’s cold.’ My voice trembled as Asher’s dark eyes met mine. ‘I’m exhausted. I’m back in this shit hole and my wolf has decided I need to bring vermin back from the dead to attack whoever is unlucky enough to be close by, so if you’ll excuse me⁠—’

‘I lost him too,’ he said, so quiet the words caught me off guard. The courtiers, guards, the servants around us all blurred as my breath caught. My hand clutched the banister as I slumped back, my eyes closed tightly as though that one act could force my husband from my mind. ‘Matthias. He’s my best friend. My king. My ally. And I left him on that beach with that… that bitch. I left him so I could ensure my queen, the woman he loves, would survive the carnage we fled from.’

Pablo nuzzled my hand. I exhaled a half sob.

‘I don’t,’ I shook my head. ‘Please, Asher. I⁠—’

The captain rubbed my arm, tilting his head. I prayed to Evella that wasn’t pity shining in his eyes.

‘Sorrow?’ Enfys, surrounded by her guard, turned the corner. ‘I was worried till I’d noticed Asher had slipped out too.’

Skye approached behind her, careful to keep a distance between her and Asher. I forced a weak smile.

‘I’m fine,’ I lied, thankful she hadn’t arrived a few minutes earlier to witness my failure with the dead rat. ‘It all got a bit loud in there.’