Page 25 of You’re So Vein

“Ms Ahuja, I think you should seek medical attention—”

Oh, I definitely should. But I’ve already fled outside, my spine still tingling from Augustin’s touch.

I don’t stop running until I’ve snuck unseen around the side of my parents’ place and reached the front door of my house.

Calling it a “house” is a stretch. It’s the cutest little Scandi-style cabin parked in my parents’ back garden, with vertical larch on the outside and white-framed windows. It’s on wheels, so I can theoretically drive it anywhere, which crosses my mind almost every evening after another round of the Ahuja family circus.

My parents bought the tiny home on wheels for Preeti after she left her cheating husband. The twins were babies when she moved in, but she moved out the week she finished medical school, claiming our parents were driving her crazy. Now it’s mine for as long as I want it. That’s both comforting and terrifying.

I love knowing that if I fall, my family will help me pick up the pieces. That’s what family is for.

But I’m terrified of how long it’s taking me to pick up the pieces.

I’m not sure I remember what all the pieces are anymore.

I flick on every switch as I move through the living room/kitchen, breathing a sigh of relief as the whole house glows with light. I kick off my shoes and pull out my phone. The screen glows from all the messages I’ve missed.

I debate telling my friends about the stationery cupboard, but as I scroll through our group chat, where Winnie is complaining about Alaric’s swords and Beth is bitching about her studio rebuild, I can’t find the words.

I love the Nevermore Coven. Really, I do. I’ve been friends with Celeste, Isis, Dora and Maisie since high school. We’ve been through so much together. I know I can trust them with my life.

But…

But I can’t tell them that I had a panic attack in a cupboard, and my mortal enemy comforted me…

They all have their lives together. They’re getting married. They’re working careers they love. They’re solving crimes and building vampire property developments and expanding their businesses. They’re not living in a tiny house in their parents’ back garden.

I’m supposed to be Madam MacGyver. I fix things. I don’t lose my shit in the dark.

I can’t say out loud why I’m still in Argleton – not because of Papa, but because I’ve screwed up my life so bad that I don’t know how to fix it.

I can’t tell them that winning the mayoral race is the only thing I can do to make things right, to make my father proud of me and show myself that I can still fix things.

So instead, I put down my phone, pour myself a glass of red wine, microwave some takeaway and turn on Love Island. My hands tremble a little as I lift the spoon to my mouth, but there’s nothing like biryani to ease the existential crisis of being stuck in the dark with only Augustin Durant to save me.

I know I’ll leave the lights and TV on all night so the darkness doesn’t creep in on me. I know that I won’t sleep, but I’ll get hours of work done on the village app and my debate speech. I know that if I stop and consider the stationery cupboard for one single second, I’ll have to remember the calming circles Augustin drew on my back as he spilled his secrets in the dark.

I’ll have to confront the moment I looked up at his concerned face and pouty lips and thought I’d like to kiss them…

But I’m not going to confront it. Because it’s absurd. It was a moment of anxiety-induced temporary insanity. I did not have a moment with my sworn enemy, the man who’s made my life a misery and who doesn’t believe I have what it takes to be mayor.

Right?

The Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven Group Chat

Arabella: I am going to KILL Gideon.

Maisie: You can’t kill him. He’s immortal.

Arabella: Not once I’m done with him. How could he arrange a visit from the Conclave representatives and not tell me? I’m a joint investor!

Winnie: Alaric only told me about it just now, too. He says that he was afraid the Nevermore Coven would, “out of the goodness of our hearts”, find a way to upset the delicate political process and ruin our chance. I’m disappointed. It’s not as if we’ve ever messed things up with important dignitaries before.

Dora: Er…

Winnie: We have?

Maisie: You’re new to the book club, so you don’t know about the incident with Komal and the Duke of Edinburgh that shall never be mentioned again.