Page 13 of You’re So Vein

“To recap our investigation so far, we have three victims,” says Mina. “Two humans – Danny and Patrick – who were husked here in the village. Both of them used to work at Sanctus Estate. Our third victim is Alyra, husked to death on Sanctus Estate, which suggests the killer is someone who lives on the estate or has security access to enter, but might not be the case, as both Lord John Astor and Celeste were able to sneak in without security catching them.”

“The killer isn’t a werewolf,” Celeste says firmly. “When we saw Alyra at the autopsy, I’d have smelled another wolf’s scent.”

“What did Alyra smell like?” I ask, wondering if we can use our friend’s wolfish senses to our advantage.

“Vampire, and Beth.”

“Of course she smelled like me! I was at her house for her weekly beauty elixir and facial scrub!” Beth cries. “If you’re trying to say—”

“No one’s accusing you, Beth.” Celeste pats her knee. “We know Alyra left her house alive because she was texting Arabella.”

“Although you could murder a few people with these.” I frown at the plate of lumpy green biscuits Beth brought.

“They’re made from sprouted wheat and foraged mushrooms and they’re extremely healthy.”

“They are crimes against the art of baking.” Celeste holds up a plate of perfectly round, icing-coated puffs of deliciousness. “Have one of my sticky buns.”

Beth wrinkles her nose. “Do you know what processed sugar does to your body—”

“Oh, yeah, sugar is the worst.” I pop a bun in my mouth. It tastes like happiness. “The abffffouufff wuuurs.”

Beth glares at Celeste and me.

“What Komal is trying to say is that we’re still waiting for Jo’s autopsy results,” Mina says. “She’s doing further investigation on the marks around the fang wounds and the substance used to drug Alyra. Morrie is digging into the background of the three victims to see if they have anything in common, apart from being connected to members of the Nevermore Coven, but until then, we don’t have any new leads.”

“So we’ve got a pile of nothing?” I lick sugar syrup off my fingers.

“Exactly.” Mina slumps in her chair. “This isn’t like the cases we’ve solved before. The killer seems to have gone quiet, but who knows for how long? I don’t like the idea of waiting around until they strike again.”

Isis looks pointedly at the object in the octagonal turret in the corner of the room, covered with a purple cloth and protected by a circle of what I’m told are powerful magical amulets. “Maybe we could…”

“No,” Dora says firmly.

“But surely it’s time we used—”

“Absolutely not,” Mina echoes.

“The magic could help us find the killer—”

“If we unleash that kind of magic in the village with all the fraught vampire-ness going on, it’ll cause carnage,” Maisie says. “Remember what happened last time? And there are more vampires than ever. And a werewolf. We can’t risk it. We have to use old-fashioned sleuthing.”

“Which means there’s nothing we can do until we hear from Jo or Morrie.” Mina slumps back in her chair. “I hate not knowing things. It’s irksome.”

A maudlin wave of helplessness takes hold of the room. I don’t like it. It reminds me of Papa’s first cancer operation. I’m Madam MacGyver. I have to step in. I have to help.

“There’s plenty we can do. We can… win me the mayoral race! And then I can use whimsy and delight to make everyone feel safe again while we catch the killer.”

My brain whirs with ideas. We should have a literary festival, and a properly funded newspaper, and maybe the garlic event is a little insensitive.

The members of the Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven crowd around me, all talking at once.

“Now that we’ve taken care of posters, I think we should discuss your campaign platform.” Beth flips over the murder board, revealing an empty whiteboard. “What is it that you stand for?”

“The downfall of Augustin Durant!” I yell.

“Excellent.” Beth writes this up. “A worthy cause. Now, what else? We need something big and splashy we can organise around. The election is in less than three weeks.”

Luckily, Papa and I had brainstormed a bunch of ideas. “How about this? I will break the November festival curse!”