Page 113 of You’re So Vein

“That’s not fair.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “You’re the only person I’m myself around.”

“I am?”

The words spill out of me. I can’t stop them. I don’t want to stop them. “To everyone else, I’m Madam MacGyver. I fix things. I sort out everyone’s problems. If Preeti forgets to update her car insurance, I do it for her. When Papa needs someone to help in the kitchen, I roll up my sleeves. Hannah wants to be a shopkeeper, so I make it happen. When you deny Beth her planning exemption—”

“Her building isn’t suitable for the area—”

“—I’m the one who helps her draft an appeal and tries to subtly suggest she downsize the eight-foot-tall mushroom statue so that it will actually pass this time. But you never ask me for anything. You’re just…” I search for the right words. “You’re just easy. And that confuses me. Because I don’t know how to do anything that’s easy. And so I push you away, and that makes me afraid, too – I’m terrified that beneath my unhinged, people-pleasing desires, I’m actually an awful person.”

“You are rather vexing.”

“Right at this moment?”

“Oh yes.” He smiles. “Your unhinged behaviour has captivated me. But you shouldn’t let people trample over you the way they do. The people who love you will continue to love you even if you occasionally say no to them. Love isn’t a transaction, and I hate seeing you being treated like it is. You’re special not because of what you do for people, not because of how many burdens you carry before you collapse under their weight, but because of who you are, in your heart. If anyone doesn’t see that, they were never worthy of your love in the first place. I wish you would see this. I wish you would fight as hard for what you want as you do for others.”

“I’ve spent so long looking out for everyone else that I don’t even remember what I want anymore.” The one thing I wanted – children – I can’t have. “Do I want to live in Argleton, or am I just here because I’m needed? Do I want to be mayor or did I just do run to piss you off…” I trail off as Augustin laughs.

“Forgive me for my mirth. It’s only that I’ve never thought this of you. You know exactly what you want – usually the exact opposite of what I want – and you never attempt to please me.”

“That’s not entirely true.” My cheeks heat. “When I’m with you, I stop caring what everyone thinks of me. I thought it was because I hated you, but you’ve always brought out this side of me that no one else sees. I get so caught up in proving you wrong, it’s like I become this… this monster.”

“You’re not the monster here.” He flashes a grim smile, and his fangs glint in the lights. “You’re passionate. You care deeply about those around you. But you’re not happy, are you? You haven’t been happy for a long time.”

I sniff. It’s all I can do.

He says gently, “You’re not the only one who’s terrified.”

“Yeah?”

“Until our laws change, you knowing about Hannah means that you’ll always be in danger,” he says. “You’re right that Kael knows something, or thinks he knows something. I’m terrified that I can’t protect her and I can’t protect you, and all I want to do is pull you into my lap and kiss you until you make that little whimpering noise that drives me wild, but I can’t, I can’t, because if they hurt you, it will be all my fault.”

“This is just like you, to make this about you and your feelings—wait, say that bit again.”

“About Kael knowing about Hannah?”

“No, the bit about what you want to do with me.”

His eyes are twin moons, filled with midnight.

He turns away. “It’s dangerous,” he repeats.

Disappointment surges through me. “Yes.”

An owl hoots. The forest hums with magic. The air between us fizzes like sherbet.

Two words, barely audible over the singing forest, reach my ears.

“Fuck it.”

And then, before I have the chance to tease Augustin for being nearly two hundred years old and uttering his second ever swear word, he’s kissing me, his lips soft and cool against mine.

Yes.

He does exactly what he says he’d do, because he’s Augustin Durant and he’s a man of honour. He pulls me into his lap, so I’m straddling him, my thighs on either side of his, and although he’s always cool to the touch, the places where our bodies join ache with fire. His fingers drag through my hair, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss.

My tongue dances over the sharp point of his fangs. The groan he lets out is feral.

Augustin pulls away, his lips swollen. “I don’t know what came over me.”