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“Don’t,” I say, stepping away from him and jerking my truck door open. “This was stupid. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

I start to climb into my truck, but he catches my arm, his face in my face, his breath whispering over my lips, “You wanted to bring me here. You wanted me.”

“Bullshit,” I spit out, but I don’t push him away. My body is screaming to touch him. To kiss him. To explore him in ways I’ve never allowed myself to do before. My body is trembling with need, but I don’t follow through with anything. I don’t give in. “I don’t want you. I don’t know what you were thinking, but I’m not like you.”

He looks hurt. Goddammit, I hate that look on his face right now. Disappointment. Like he knows I’m full of shit but not all that surprised. “You’re not, huh?”

I shake my head, pulling out of his hold. He lets me go easily, but our bodies stay close. “I’m not,” I say in a shaking voice. I want to just say it out loud. I want to not be such a coward, but my family isn’t like his.

My life isn’t like his. His parents may suck, but he has people who care about him. Who love him, no matter what. I don’t have anyone.

He studies me carefully, searching my eyes for something he must not find because he takes a step back. “Okay. My mistake.”

Bile creeps up my throat, watching him back away from me before walking to his own truck and climbing inside. He doesn’t even hesitate before he starts it up and drives away.

Leaving me standing there, feeling cold and empty.

Not a new feeling for me at all.

But disappointing all the same.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

jonah

So that sucked.

Well, not all of it, of course. The kiss was pure bliss and everything and more than I expected it to be with him. And then I had to go and make us talk.

Though I still don’t really regret that. We needed to talk. He needed to unburden himself and just get it out.

He never said he’s gay or bi, or however he identifies. He didn’t even really say he was into guys, but he told me about what happened with a guy. And the experience didn’t go well.

Now he’s being tortured daily by people he used to call friends, all because he admitted to hooking up with a guy. And he thinks he deserves that punishment.

I’m not going to lie—the thought of him bullying the poor guy he kissed makes me sick to my stomach. No one deserves that. It had to sting. The betrayal. The kid must have trusted him a little bit with what was probably his own secret, and then he had to deal with threats from Calvin.

I can’t imagine.

While that hurt matters, so does Calvin’s. I know he’s a good person deep down. I know he’s flat-out terrified of his family finding out. Of his friends. I can’t believe no one has mentioned it to his family though. They knew he left practice that one day. But somehow, they haven’t found out about the constant bullying at school?

Would they even care?

The way Calvin talked about them, I’m not sure they would. But it’s hard for me to understand why he cares so much about them. I guess I can’t really talk. I have parts of my family who love me unconditionally. I need to remember not everyone has that.

He’s avoiding me today at school. All day. He won’t even look at me. I keep waiting for him to shove me or try to threaten me like he said he did to Austin, but nope. Instead of that, he just refuses to acknowledge I even exist.

By the time school is over and we’re in the locker room changing for practice, I’m nearly jumping out of my skin with the need to talk to him. To have him look at me. To hear his voice.

But nothing.

He gives me nothing.

“What the hell is wrong with you today, Duke?” Adler saunters up, shirtless, after pulling on a pair of athletic shorts.

Calvin doesn’t say anything, just pulls on his shirt and then sits down on the bench to tie his shoes.

“Jesus, you break up with your boyfriend or something? Maybe you heard about Montgomery and his little bestie finally making it official?” he taunts, and I’m assuming he’s talking about the guy from last year. The one he kissed.