Page 40 of Family Secrets in Inishbeg Cove

‘He has a right to know,’ Madeleine went on. ‘It’s his child as much as yours.’

‘It’s going to make everything tricky, and I don’t want any more stress or drama.’

‘But don’t you see? This changes everything! I’m sure once Kyle knows, he’ll want to reconcile.’

‘But then he’s only doing it for the baby, not for me.’

‘That makes no sense, Lucy. The reason you’re in this situation in the first place is because you wouldn’t choose your marriage over having a baby.’

‘Exactly – we’re not on the same page at all,’ Lucy retorted wearily.

‘Why won’t you pick up the phone? You are so stubborn, Lucy,’ Madeleine went on. ‘I don’t know why you want to sabotage this chance of happiness. You have a loving husband who I know will be overjoyed by this news – and you choose not to share it with him?’

‘Just leave it, Mum,’ Lucy snapped, growing tired of the exchange.

‘You are infuriating,’ Madeleine went on. ‘You’ve been the same way since you were a little girl. Once you make up your mind about something, there is no changing it.’

‘I wonder where I get that from?’ Lucy replied sarcastically.

‘Please, both of you stop arguing,’ Faith pleaded. She looked as though she was about to cry.

‘Well, tell Mum that this is none of her business,’ Lucy retorted bitterly.

‘It is my business because I love you, Lucy. I want the best for you, but you are denying yourself happiness by being so stubborn.’

‘You just don’t get it, do you?’ Lucy replied, full of vitriol. ‘You never have. It’s at times like this that I really miss Nanna!’ Lucy knew it was a low blow, but she was exhausted and Madeleine was pushing her buttons. She was always so forceful with her opinions, whereas Elizabeth listened and let you take your time as you worked through your feelings. She’d patiently wait for you to come to your own decision. She’d only offer advice if you asked for it; she never forced her advice on someone or preached about what you ought to do.

Faith gasped while a stunned Madeleine blinked rapidly. Suddenly Lucy couldn’t hold it in any more. The evening had unleashed a tidal wave of emotion inside her, and she dissolved into tears.

31

Madeleine sat back in her chair, wounded. She felt as if Lucy had drawn back her fist and punched her right in the solar plexus. Her daughter’s words had stung. Suddenly Madeleine had had enough. She was tired of it all. Tired of always being the bad cop. They had no idea how hard she had tried to protect them and the sacrifices she had made for them over the years. Lucy needed to hear a few home truths.

‘You girls go on like your grandmother was a saint! She wasn’t as perfect as you think. She had a dark side too.’ Madeleine was sick of them canonising Elizabeth. Although she had undoubtedly been an important figure in the girls’ lives and had helped hugely with their upbringing, Madeleine knew the real reason behind her involvement. Over the years Madeleine had seen another side to Elizabeth: a vindictive streak that she had done her best to keep hidden from her daughters. She knew that if she told them the truth, the whole thing would unravel like a spool of thread. As their mother, it was her job to protect them from that.

‘How dare you! Why would you stoop so low when she’s not even here to defend herself?’ Lucy raged.

‘Oh Mum, why would you say something like that?’ Faith was horrified.

‘It’s true. She could be nasty when she wanted to be. She gave me a hard time about how I raised you girls. She said that I wasn’t a good mother.’

‘Well, she wasn’t wrong,’ Lucy spat. ‘No offence, Mum, but you were hardly Mum of the Year. You had no interest in being a mother.’

‘It’s true.’ Faith, who usually shied away from confrontation, joined in. ‘You shipped us off to boarding school as soon as you could.’

‘After your father died, everything fell on my shoulders. I had to go out and get a job. I had to pay the mortgage all by myself. I had to pay the bills. It wasn’t easy with two young girls, let me tell you, as a single mother, trying to keep a roof over our heads. I had no help in Dublin, no family around me, no one to share the childcare with. Sometimes I would get held up in a meeting or I’d get stuck in traffic and then would have to race home to let the childminder finish up. I was constantly stressed out of my mind. Boarding school seemed like the only way I could get it all to work.’

‘You can make all the excuses you want, but the truth is that Elizabeth was more of a mother to us than you ever were!’ Lucy continued.

‘Only because she felt guilty!’ Madeleine cried, losing patience with them. They were always ganging up on her. Painting her as the big bad wolf, when they hadn’t a clue about everything she went through back then.

‘Why would she feel guilty?’ Faith asked.

‘She had her reasons,’ Madeleine retorted, knowing she was venturing into uncharted waters.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Lucy challenged.

‘Well, I think on some level she felt responsible for your father dying so young.’