Page 39 of Family Secrets in Inishbeg Cove

‘It’s a complete shock. My periods have always been irregular, so I didn’t really notice I hadn’t had one in a while, and I guess after losing Nanna, I’ve been so distracted that I didn’t suspect a thing. Normally I’d be watching every little sign… I can’t actually believe it.’

‘Well, congratulations, darling, I’m so happy for you,’ Madeleine gushed. She turned to Faith as the realisation dawned on her. ‘I’m going to be a grandmother!’

Lucy started to cry even harder at this.

‘But why are you crying? This is great news!’ Faith cried, squeezing her into a hug. ‘I know how much you’ve wanted this.’

‘But it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Kyle and I are finished, and I don’t want to do it on my own,’ Lucy wept.

‘But doesn’t this change everything? Kyle will be overjoyed when you tell him. I’m sure you can resolve all your differences. Come on, Lucy,’ Madeleine cajoled.

‘Yes, Kyle loves you, this is good news,’ Faith chimed in.

Lucy shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. I don’t want him to try to save our marriage for all the wrong reasons.’

‘It wouldn’t be for the wrong reasons! It’s because you’ve got a little baby on the way.’

Lucy started to cry even harder.

Madeleine and Faith looked at one another in bewilderment.

‘Look,’ Madeleine said, ‘it’s been an eventful evening. I think we’re all a bit tired and emotional. The doctors have said they are happy to let you go home now they’ve got to the bottom of why you fainted. Let’s get you back to the village and into bed. After a good night’s sleep, I promise you things won’t seem so bad.’

30

Lucy lay wide awake as her sister slept in the bed next to her. The old house creaked and groaned, as if weary. Every so often Faith emitted a peaceful sigh as she slept, but Lucy wasn’t faring so well. She was too wired to sleep. She was still in disbelief at the news she had received this evening. Earlier that day she had set out to Cavendish Hall for the carol service and here she was a few hours later, after a trip to hospital by ambulance, having been told she was pregnant. Never in a million years could she have imagined her day panning out like this when she had woken up that morning. She was still in shock, still in disbelief, still terrified that someone would wake her and tell her it had all been a dream. She had had no symptoms bar tiredness which she had attributed to grief over the loss of her grandmother so the news that she was pregnant, had really come as a bolt from the blue.

So many feelings competed for space inside her head. She was shocked, she was petrified, but there was something else too: she was almost afraid to admit it to herself, but she was starting to feel the first flutters of excitement. But then she would remember the state of her marriage and her excitement soon turned to despair. She was desolate about the situation with her husband. What was she supposed to do? She hadn’t seen this coming. How would Kyle react to the news of her pregnancy? Would he be happy or – another thought rushed in to crush her – what if his reaction wasn’t what she hoped for? If he reacted negatively, she knew she would be devastated.

Once Lucy had been released from hospital the evening before, she, her mother and Faith, weary with exhaustion, had headed home. Lucy had been given a follow-up appointment in the maternity unit after Christmas. Given her history, they wanted to make sure everything was as it should be. Since Lucy was unsure about when conception had occurred, they would also be able to date the pregnancy. When they had eventually got back to the cottage, they were all so worn out by the evening that they went straight to bed.

She must have fallen asleep eventually because when she woke, primrose-yellow sunlight was streaming into the bedroom. She looked across the room at Faith’s bed and saw that her sister had already got up. She dragged herself out of bed, shivering in the chilly morning air, and headed downstairs to find her mother and Faith sitting at the table in Elizabeth’s kitchen, being kept cosy by the Aga. Madeleine put the kettle on the hot plate and made a pot of tea for them all while Faith began to cut thick slices from the farmhouse loaf to make toast for breakfast.

‘I don’t think I can stomach it,’ Lucy said as Faith handed her the plate, golden butter melting into the soft bread. Usually she loved toast slathered in butter, but this morning it made her tummy curdle.

‘You need to keep your strength up,’ Madeleine warned. ‘You’ve got a little one to think about now. My little grandchild…’ She smiled fondly at her daughter, but Lucy couldn’t return the smile.

‘I had a glass of mulled wine last night,’ Lucy said, remembering the glass she’d had at the carol service. Although she wasn’t a big drinker, she would never have drunk any alcohol if she had known she was pregnant.

‘You only had a mouthful before you fainted. It’s hardly going to do any damage,’ Madeleine assured her.

‘When do you think you’ll tell Kyle?’ Faith asked gently.

Lucy shook her head. She had spent the whole night thinking about it and had made up her mind. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she was reluctant to tell him.

‘I’ve decided that I’m not going to,’ she admitted.

‘What?’ Madeleine cried in disbelief. ‘You’re not going to tell your husband that you’re pregnant?’

‘It would only complicate everything, and right now I just want to focus on this miracle that is growing inside me.’

‘But you can hardly hide it from him!’ Madeleine was incredulous. ‘You’ll be starting to show in a few weeks. He will find out somehow.’

‘It’s for the best, Mum,’ Lucy replied.

‘Lucy, I don’t understand you. You are an intelligent young woman – how can you not see this situation logically?’ Madeleine pressed.

‘Mum’s right, Lucy. He’ll find out sooner or later and he’ll be really upset if he discovers you didn’t tell him.’