Page 26 of Coming Home to Inishbeg Cove

Chapter 17

Penny

While Lucy ate breakfast in the kitchen with Mam, I took my time applying make-up in the bathroom mirror. I badly needed something to hide the dark circles from my fitful sleep the night before. It was the first time I had put on make-up since I had returned to Inishbeg Cove. I usually loved the ritual of filling in my brows and applying foundation to make my skin appear fresh and dewy, but I had lost the heart for it since I had left Dublin.

Although I had enjoyed myself in the pub, I had been feeling unsettled ever since. As Tadgh and I had chatted and laughed together, it felt like nothing had ever changed between us. And something about that had made me lie awake for most of the night, thinking. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I was pretty sure a flicker of the old spark still smouldered, and that troubled me. Although Joe and I were going through a difficult patch, I still hoped everything would work out for us. Tadgh and I may have been teenage sweethearts, but we had grown into different people and it baffled me how we had been able to take up where we left off all those years ago. Being in his company felt easy – a bit too easy.

‘You’re looking good,’ Ruairí remarked when I came into the café later that day.

‘Am I?’ I was caught off guard by the compliment.

He nodded.

‘It’s probably just my make-up,’ I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I must have looked a wreck without it, I thought, feeling mortified.

‘By the way, I wanted to ask a favour.’

‘Go on.’

‘Well, you know the village festival is coming up soon? I was wondering if you’ll still be around.’

‘I should be – why?’ The more days that passed, the less likely the idea of returning to Dublin seemed to be.

‘I was wondering if perhaps you’d be able to give me a hand on the stand for the day.’

‘Of course,’ I said, hooking my apron around my neck. ‘It’s not like I’ll be doing anything else. I’m sure Mam and Dad will look after Lucy.’

‘You’re a life-saver!’ Ruairí said gratefully.

I began cleaning tables to get ready for the lunchtime rush that would soon descend upon us, but every time the bell above the door tinkled, my stomach lurched. I couldn’t understand why, until I realised with some confusion that I was hoping to see Tadgh come through the door and I was disappointed every time it wasn’t him. This was ridiculous, I told myself. I needed to cop myself on and stop all this madness.

The bell sounded once more and my heart soared as I turned to see who it was, but it dropped yet again when it wasn’t Tadgh.

‘Penny Murphy!’ a voice exclaimed behind me. ‘Is that you?’

I turned to see old Mrs Manning coming slowly through the door. She had grown old and frail since I had last seen her, and now used a walking stick to get around, but she still coloured her hair a vibrant shade of saffron and wore a full face of make-up. When I was growing up, I had loved her joie de vivre – she was always a colourful figure in the village.

‘Great to see you, Mrs Manning. I see you’re still as glam as ever.’

‘Oh, you are very kind, dear. I can barely find my eyes in my falling face these days, but one must try.’

I couldn’t help laughing.

‘So, what has you back in the village?’

‘I’m just back for a few weeks.’

If she was wondering why the hell I was working in the café when I was only visiting for a few weeks, to her credit she didn’t show it.

‘And did you bring that devilishly handsome artist husband with you?’

‘No,’ I said, feeling a wave of sadness flood me at the mention of Joe.

‘More’s the pity – we could do with a bit of excitement around these parts. Well, it’s good to see you, Penny.’ She shuffled over towards a table and Ruairí began to prepare her tea in her very own china cup, which she left in the café especially.

It was after half one when I finally saw Tadgh come through the door. My heart picked up speed at the sight of him, dressed simply in a T-shirt, shorts and flip-flops. His hair glistened with water droplets and his skin was fresh and alive. I told myself to get it together. I was still married, for God’s sake. I just couldn’t understand my feelings for him. Tadgh belonged to a different time in my life. Just because I was feeling vulnerable right now, my feelings were all jumbled up.

‘Were you crab fishing?’ I asked. My mind had gone blank and I couldn’t think of anything else to say.