Page 8 of Angel I Am Not

A nervous laugh tore from my throat that even in the midst of all this, he was still worried about my potty mouth. With an archangel as my disciplinarian and my mentor, Uriel had been in charge of my growth. My lack of gift reflected on him but with his powerful essence, no one tried to shape my lessons.

If I disappeared in the middle of the day, no one did anything more than alert Uriel to my disobedience. Now? The metaphorical chains that have been latched onto my wrists from the beginning would inevitably make an appearance as soon as I returned to heaven. I’d have to shape up and find my purity again, a ritual I wasn’t looking forward to.

“Can we just talk for a minute?” I pleaded.

Miel shook his head. “No. I’m not going to be implicated in your folly. The council will look upon this favorably, that I, your promised, brought you back.”

He was trying to suck up again. Using me to get in Uriel’s favor was no longer an option, so apparently volunteering to retrieve his grieving promised was his newest attempt at looking useful to the council.

Miel dragged me back to Heaven in silence, not speaking until he had locked me in his room and leaned against the door. I scooted onto his mattress, part of me still stupidly hoping the anger on his face might finally crack that rigid personality of his.

Mostly, I didn’t want to think. The club had worked until Miel showed up. Food had worked until the human ruined it. Sex was the only distraction I had left, and if Miel wanted to turn this into some twisted version of punishment, I was willing to let him try.

The hope died quickly when he stalked toward the bed. Angry Miel looked exactly like calm Miel when it came to sex.

His dainty fingers began undoing the top of his tunic, his eyes still glued to mine. “You are out of control, Ariuk.”

The familiar tingle of my full name crawled beneath my skin. I grimaced. “It’s Ari.”

He ignored that, “I know that you just lost your creator but that is no reason to mingle with the heathens down below.” Ah, I should have known that the few sentence speech he had given me on Earth hadn’t been the end of it. He thought so little of humans—as most Angels did—their lives so fleeting in comparison to ours. But, they were the ones having all the fun.

I swallowed back a snicker, realizing he was acting out his version of a punishment. This version of Miel wasn’t like him at all. He had most likely learned this from one of the older angels that watched a little too much human TV and while it worked with the men on the screen, Miel looked like a child trying to emulate a swoon-worthy partner. His hazel eyes darkened with a bit of confusion as he stumbled his way through his words.

I scooted farther back, waiting for him to shed his shirt. At least he was still a bit of eye candy to look at. Although those fucking abs didn’t see enough sunlight in my opinion. Biting my lip to hide my smile so that Miel would at least get to the fucking point, I let him continue.

“I get that you’re hurting and confused but that’s when you come to me.” He slid off his pants and then his boxers, giving me a full view of his pale naked body. He crawled onto the bed, glowering at my dark outfit. I always felt more comfortable in black when going to Earth but it wasn’t an acceptable color in Heaven. For several seconds, he just stared at it before placing both hands at the top and ripping it down the middle seam. I gasped in horror, knowing that he had done it because he hated the dress and not that he was so passionately in love with me that he needed to see me naked. “You won’t wear things like this again, Ariuk.”

Miel said it as if he owned me. “Ok, Miel,” I said, watching his frown deepen. His eyes ran down my nearly naked body, stopping at the lacy thong I had slipped on while on Earth. He ripped that off too, leaving me bare beneath him, my control nearly shot. If I tried to take charge, he’d walk out of this room. I had to lie here and wait for him to direct this moment. The only reason I was even entertaining it was because it was the only cock I’d be having tonight. My breath hitched in my throat as I waited for him to touch me, hoping and praying that he'd add in a little tit action while he was ramming his cock inside of me.

He stared at my bare pussy for several seconds before grabbing his cock and stroking it a few times. Then he guided it between my lips, pushing inside. The pleasurable burn made me groan, my hips rocking forward to draw him in further. I didn’t mind the lack of prep, focusing on grabbing an orgasm rather than Miel’s inability to pleasure a woman. Fuck if I was going to teach him that.

There was no technique in his thrusts, no attempt to figure out what I liked or whether I was enjoying myself. His hands stayed planted on either side of me, his face hovering over my shoulder as he drove into me like this was less about sex and more about reminding me who was supposed to be in control.

I tried to let it work anyway. I focused on the drag of his cock, the heat of his body, anything physical enough to drown out the image of Uriel disappearing beneath Jophiel’s hand. For a few seconds, I almost managed it.

Then Miel grunted against my ear and Uriel’s face flashed behind my eyes again.

My fingers curled into the sheets instead of his shoulders. If I touched Miel the way I wanted to, if I dug my nails into him or tried to pull him closer, he’d stop and remind me how an angel was supposed to behave. So I stayed beneath him and tried to steal whatever pleasure I could from the movement, squeezing my thighs around his hips as he thrust harder.

A few more thrusts and he was spilling inside of me, his heavy breaths heating the side of my head. I wanted to wiggle, to find my release but the moment I bucked my hips upward, Miel pulled out. He ventured to the bathroom adjoined to his room and cleaned up before returning with a wet cloth. He threw it on the mattress beside me, not even so much as looking at the messy heap he had left me in. “Clean yourself up. I don’t want to see you down on Earth again or I won’t have any choice but to let the archangels know what you’re really doing down there. Uriel isn’t here anymore to protect you.”

A sob lodged in my throat as Miel redressed and walked out without another look at me. His coldness wasn’t new, but tonight I had needed him to be something different badly enough that it still hurt.

The club hadn’t worked. The food hadn’t worked. The human hadn’t worked. Sex with Miel sure as hell hadn’t worked.

I dragged my knees to my chest and finally let myself cry. Uriel wasn’t somewhere I could visit or some realm I could eventually sneak into. He had been erased. The only person who had given me enough freedom to be myself was gone, and everything waiting outside Miel’s room had changed with him.

And for the first time since I had been created, I felt truly lost.

Ariuk

I held my breath as I slipped through golden gate #1, eyes peeled for anyone lingering around the lakes. A sigh of relief fell from my lips as I raced to my spot, adrenaline racing through me as I tried to catch my breath.

No one saw anything.

The weight of my wings revealed themselves as my body shifted to my heavenly form. It was against the rules to conceal ourselves on this plane, nearly impossible to hide my wings completely despite how much I wanted to. I shifted uncomfortably as my Earthly clothes dug into my feathers, grimacing when something snagged the wrong way.

The consequences of returning to Earth were major but I couldn’t fucking stand the stuffiness of this plane. Heaven had become a land of haughty emotions and ‘holier than thou’ rules. I tried to stay within the rules as much as possible but the craving for just a little bit of happiness in my life meant that trips to Earth were a common occurrence.