Page 7 of Angel I Am Not

I looked at the empty place where Uriel had been and then at the angels still watching me like they were waiting to see what I would do next. There had to be a reason he had approached that altar. I couldn’t find it here, and I sure as hell couldn’t breathe with everyone staring at me like darkness might be contagious.

When Miel reached for me again, I backed away and wiped angrily at my face. I didn’t care what punishment waited when I came back or who reported me for leaving. I needed noise, humans, bad decisions, anything messy enough to drown out the image of Uriel disappearing in front of me.

There was only one place I wanted to be.

Earth.

Ariuk

The pulsing disco lights running along the walls mixed with the sensual screams of ecstasy instantly lightened my mood. I probably should have realized that something was wrong and that my ability to fall in love with this madness without the slightest inconvenience wasn’t a gift but darkness creeping into my essence. The fact that I had just lost Uriel to that sham of a ritual in heaven made it worse. I should have been mourning him, flailing about as I whined for the man who created me and my essence. I should have fought Jophiel for his ruling and screamed across the heavens for anyone to bring me back the life that I had lost.

Instead, I was here, sliding into a slice of chaotic human culture that seemed a lot more homey than the paradise above, if it could even be called that. The drastic change in my emotions gave me whiplash but I wasn’t going to dwell on it. There was nothing that could bring back Uriel now and whatever safety I had found in those divine gardens seemed to have slipped away with his existence.

Shaking those thoughts off as I emerged from the bathroom at the back of the club in a tight black dress that accentuated my curves, I made a beeline for my table. I wished I could sprout my wings and truly let the music take over me. I bet the humans here wouldn’t judge me for my dark feathers. They seemed wildly intrigued with the same darkness that I found fascinating, praying to demons and gods that would only bring them ruin.

A tight smile fell on my lips as I stared at the dance floor, the pulsating melody drawing me in. I would partake in that madness soon enough.

But first? Food.

I took a healthy bite of my freshly grilled chicken sandwich plated before me, rich spices swirling on my tongue, the tomato spread enriching the flavors. Beside my plate sat my favorite human drink, an iced chai latte with whipped cream and chocolate chips. I had gotten some odd looks ordering it this late at night but I wasn’t about to be ridiculed for any more of my choices.

No one even asked him why.

I swallowed the anger trying to bubble up in my chest, willing myself to relax. This would be my last night to myself, the last night when people truly ignored me. No doubt the archangels would sic me with another mentor, one that would be much more attentive to my whereabouts and my fuckups.

This time, my next bite was angry as I chomped on the chicken right as someone stupid enough to interrupt my ritual stepped up to my table with a smirk playing on his lips. I swallowed and then took an obnoxious slurp of my chai latte. Fuck that was good.

This is not angel behavior, I reminded myself but all that went out the window as I took in the gorgeous human that had just approached. I tried to keep my eyes on my food but the thick bulk of his arms drew my attention. He had full lips and mischievous intentions, blonde hair cut close to his head and blue eyes that were trying to unravel my layers. “You gonna eat me like that later?”

Terrible pickup line but I was sad and horny, trying to eat my feelings in a dark club while watching scantily clad individuals dance on a stage. Why not add sex to my list of sins I’d have to answer for later? I shrugged and took another bite, chewing as slowly and sensually as I could until he licked his lips in response.

He slid into my booth, closing the distance between us as he waited for me to swallow. Savagely, he attacked my lips, tasting the tomato sauce still on my tongue. My fingers immediately curled into his shirt as I dragged him closer, moaning when one of his hands moved to clamp down on my thigh, his thumb running dangerously north.

It was moments like this that I craved. That hungry moment before two people finally gave in. Humans had done something right when it came down to the moments before the deed. Angels could learn a thing or two. I would have offered them a few websites I had found over the years when I had escaped down here but I’m sure that wouldn’t have been looked on fondly.

He pulled away, his eyes glittering with an ecstasy fueled by kissing an angel. Apparently, some part of my essence drew in humans like a drug. I relished the ease in which it made the chase but sometimes I wished I could find someone who would want just me. Someone who loved me as me, snarky comments, foul mouth, bad decisions and all.

“You taste delicious,” he said in a husky voice, his lips moving to nip at my jaw and then down my neck. “Saw you across the room eating that sandwich like that, your eyes glowing with excitement. I swear, I just had to talk to you.” His hand slid behind my neck, pressing just enough to start guiding me downward.

His words were beginning to give me the ick because it soon became clear that he wasn’t here for a night of debauchery. He wanted his dick sucked. And while I was all for giving a little pleasure, I didn’t like men seeking me out for it. A disappointed sigh left me as I pushed him away, shaking my head. This wasn’t going to happen, especially after he just ruined my experience with my sandwich.

Ignoring his silent question, I reached for my latte and peeled off the top to take a healthy chug, groaning as the liquid spilled down my throat.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he purred, leaning in again.

I held up a finger, focusing on my drink instead, a little relieved when Miel popped up like I knew he would. I hadn’t left Heaven all that quietly so it would only be a matter of time before someone would be sent after me. It was a good thing it was my promised rather than an archangel. He whipped across the table and ripped me out of reach of the man. My gaze fell longingly on the rest of my sandwich, the man giving me a small smile as if that last bit of emotion had been for him.

I knew I was going to be in grave trouble upon my return but something inside of me needed to put the human in his place. I wrangled myself from Miel’s grip and reached forward for the rest of my sandwich, not caring how I looked. I stuffed the rest in my mouth, my cheeks pooching out like a little chipmunk. His smile disappeared but I was elated that he understood how much he meant to me.

Nothing.

“You’re a disgrace,” Miel whispered in my ear as he tugged me through the club and out the backdoor. The disgust on his face was evident but I couldn’t seem to shove the smile on my face back to where it had come from, not to mention that I was trying to respectfully chew half a piece of chicken without choking.

I might have been a disgrace but that was a goddamn good plate I had left back there. Too bad no one else would see it that way.

Several minutes later as he dragged me down the street, I was finally able to swallow. “How the fuck did you find me that fast?”

He swiveled around, his hand still firmly around my wrist. “It’s Domiel. I know you enjoy the freedom with which Uriel gave you to act out but that’s gone.” That wiped the smile off my face as he kept talking. “I volunteered to come get you, saying that you made a mistake because you were grieving. We both know that that’s not what this is. Also, language.”