Page 3 of Colliding with Ten

I breathed.

The first few days in New York were a bit jarring since I was no longer on a college campus. On day one, I unpacked one bag. On the second, I didn’t get up until noon, and on the third, I went to the cafe where Meadow worked and sat in a corner booth for three hours. Then I walked the city until I got tired. I watched everyone move through their day with purpose and envied it.

For most of my life, I danced—ballet, then contemporary, then hip-hop in high school. When words failed, my body could express what I felt. I imagined choreography where I was pulled in two different directions. Eventually, I would stop fighting those invisible hands and stand alone in the middle of the stage. But I hadn’t danced for months. My father discouraged me from doing so.

On day four, AJ came home from practice and found me curled on the couch watching a home renovation show, the same spot where he’d left me that morning.

AJ dropped his bag on the floor and sat next to me. “Tomorrow. Come with me to the facility.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I love when people invite me places by issuing commands.”

“You’ve got to get out of the apartment.”

“I left the apartment yesterday.”

“To go sit at Meadow’s job alone.”

I got up and drew the blanket over my shoulders. “Did she complain?”

“No, she’s worried.”

“I’m fine.”

AJ looked like he didn’t believe me.

I sighed. “Fine-adjacent.”

“You’re coming with me. There’s a gym and space to move.”

My heart galloped at the idea.

“I have meetings in the morning,” he said. “Treatment after. Film later. You can hang out, walk around, use the gym if they clear it, whatever.”

“Are random sisters allowed to wander around professional football facilities?”

“You’re not just anyone. I’ll get you a visitor pass.”

I looked at him. “You’re worried about me.”

“Yes.”

My throat tensed. “I’m not depressed.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“I don’t want you to be worried about me.”

“Too bad.”

“I’m not your responsibility.”

“You’re my sister.”

The Hawks’ facility was on a large campus. The football building was glassy and modern with the Hawks logo standing above the door. Beyond that lay the practice fields, extending out under the morning sun. Further across the campus, near another car park, was a separate building used for performances and events, where, as AJ said, the organization held community events and, at times, dance-related activities.